"It takes backbone to live the life you want."

When I was 31, I realized that I shouldn’t be a systems analyst. I hadn’t set out to be that and it had become (quite literally) painfully clear that I could not be happy in that life. I had a middle-class income, interesting and often brilliant colleagues, and a path to more money and more responsibility. But none of that could outweigh the crushing sense that I was not doing what I ought to be doing.

With my wife and little son, I moved from Nashville to Washington, DC to become a writer and speechwriter. It seemed a foolish gamble to everyone but me. I was happy from then on–happy down to the bones. That probably would have been enough, but eventually my success (as I count success) brought some of the more traditional benefits. They’re nice, but they weren’t necessary. What mattered was finding the backbone to live the life I chose.

“Revolutionary Road” is about that. It’s about the common 20-something realization that “being special” isn’t bestowed upon one at birth, it’s something only we can make for ourselves. It’s about the excuses we find to believe that the trappings of success are not only an acceptable substitute but also a responsible and wise alternative for life choices that most of the world labels “immature” and “careless.” It’s about acting as if we regret not “taking chances” when in fact we are utterly relieved. It’s about being honest with oneself that there are tremendous opportunities in life, and how few of those called to do something out of the ordinary actually answer that voice. And it’s about the pain some feel when they understand just what they’ve passed up.

Director Sam Mendes probably intended “Revolutionary Road” to be a straightforward condemnation of suburban life or the middle class or alleged 1950s conformity, but he doesn’t get the final say. The thing about art (if you’ll excuse the term) is that what matters is what it means to us, not what the artist hoped we’d feel. To read this picture as just another slam on flyover lifestyles is to miss a subtler, better opportunity: The picture is about people who want to be special by their own standard, about the process of realizing that transformation can come only if we ourselves do the work, and the demanding truth that following through takes fortitude. Or, as Kate Winslet’s character says to her husband, “It takes backbone to live the life you want, Frank.” It sure does.

“Revolutionary Road” is one of the best pictures of 2008.