Shephard Smith and Janet Napolitano Sitting in a Tree

I was in the Friars Club gym yesterday pretending to work out. The Friars Club gym is great for the ego because no matter what time of day or night you’re in there, you’re always the youngest guy by 30 years.

As I reclined on the stationary bike, my feet up on the handle bars, watching TV (the preferred Friars Club method of exercising) I saw something on FOX News that got my blood pumping harder than anything I would be doing in my workout. Shephard Smith was doing a report on the Octogenarian Neo Nazi (OctoNazi?) who opened fire at the Holocaust Museum. In a breathtakingly oddball blizzard of profundity Shephard:

1) Cited the OctoNazi attack as yet another example of “intolerance and bigotry” by “a certain segment of the population” who simply cannot “accept that a black man has been elected president”!

2) Held this bizarro incident up as proof that – I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP! – Homeland Defense Secretary Napolitano was right when she issued the report that claimed returning veterans posed a threat of right-wing terrorism in our country. Because OctoNazi was a returning veteran (granted, he returned six and a half decades ago…).

Maybe Shephard is right? OctoNazi was a World War Two vet, so he had over sixty years to stew over his craziness. Lurking out there somewhere there’s got to be a 130 year old veteran of the Spanish American War, filled with over a century of brooding and plotting, ready to launch a domestic terrorist attack to proove that Napolitano and Shephard are on to something!