You’re So Vain: David Geffen Sics the Law on 50-Years-Younger Linebacker Suitor

Entertainment mogul David Geffen obtained a court order to keep a former college linebacker away from him. But how did the May-December couple’s paths cross in the first place?

TMZ reports that cops arrested Jamie Kuntz in October and that his repeated attempts to see Geffen resulted in a felony stalking charge. Kuntz’s lawyer insists the pair enjoyed a relationship, and that Geffen involving the police stems from him wanting to end the relationship. It’s pretty clear from the restraining order that whatever he once lusted after, David Geffen doesn’t like Kuntz anymore.

The football player made headlines in 2012 when North Dakota State College of Science tossed him off their team. The junior college linebacker maintains the dismissal resulted from him kissing his 65-year-old boyfriend in the press box after a game; others claim the pair’s affections went far beyond kissing.

“He knew why he got kicked off,” NDSCS defensive end Trevon Money told SB Nation’s Amy Nelson. “I [saw] more than a kiss, that’s all I’m saying.”

The 20-year-old Kuntz has since graduated from sexuagenarians to septuagenarians in his pursuit of Geffen. And Geffen, who had broken up with a 28-year-old surfer earlier in 2012, frequently displays a taste for men like Kuntz young enough to be his grandsons. Indeed, Kuntz had called the guy he made out with in the press box his “grandfather” in an effort to shield their true relationship. So, Kuntz and Geffen are what Chuck Woolery would call compatible even if the law sees it otherwise.

If only Kuntz had listened to Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain,” released more than two decades before his birth, he would have known that he fell for a love-em-and-leave-em type. “You had me several years ago/When I was still quite naive/Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair/And that you would never leave/But you gave away the things you loved/And one of them was me.”

Jamie, meet Carly. She feels your pain, and her restraining-order-of-a-song broadcasts that pain somewhere in America every minute or two. By turning lemons into lemonade, Simon made millions. That beats jail, no?