Jon Stewart: Trump’s ‘Stupid,’ Carson’s ‘Crazy,’ And Hillary’s ‘Going to Be President’

NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 10: Comedian Jon Stewart performs on stage at the New York Comedy Festival and the Bob Woodruff Foundation's 9th Annual Stand Up For Heroes Event on November 10, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Ilya S. Savenok/Getty Images for Academy of Motion Picture Arts …
Ilya S. Savenok/Getty Images

Former Daily Show host Jon Stewart was up to his old tricks again on Tuesday night when he blasted Republican presidential candidates Donald Trump and Ben Carson during a fundraiser for veterans in New York.

Stewart was a featured performer at the Stand Up for Heroes benefit at the Theater at Madison Square Garden along with fellow comedians Seth Meyers and Ray Romano, while Bruce Springsteen played a set of classics to raise funds for wounded service members and their families.

Stewart wasted little time in picking up right where he left off when he taped his final Daily Show appearance earlier this summer.

“Are we really doing this Donald Trump thing? We’re really doing that as a country?” Stewart riffed, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

“He’s f***ed,” Stewart added. “I like to put my name in giant letters on everything I own as much as the next guy, but the only other people that do that are like 8-year-olds going to camp.”

The funnyman then broke out his best Trump impression: “‘Where did I put that building? Oh, there it is, Trump. Boom. Where’s my f***ing helicopter? Boom, Trump…. Where’s my wife? Boom, Trump, nice.”

“People are like, ‘I like Trump; he says what he thinks.’ What he thinks is stupid,” Stewart continued. “That’s like if your friend is like, ‘I would like to f*** your mom.’ Why would you say that?… I don’t give a shit if you’re politically correct, just be correct, correct.”

Next, Stewart turned on Carson, calling him “the greatest juxtaposition between volume of voice and craziness of sh** he says.”

“He says the softest spoken crazy shit I’ve ever heard,” he said. “You watch him in the debates – ‘All I said was Obamacare is like slavery… When I was young I nearly killed a nun with a… hammer.'”

Stewart also saved some snark for Democrats Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton. He compared watching Biden’s behind-the-scenes presence at the State of the Union to “watching a guy work a sales convention.”

“The president is talking and the vice president is behind him like this,” Stewart joked: ‘Hey, boom,’ ‘Hey, sugar tits.’ ‘Oh, hey, what’s happening?’ ‘What’s going down?’ ‘Nice to see you.’ ‘What’s up, governor?’ ‘Boom.’ ”

Of Clinton, Stewart predicted, “She’s going to be president. Even if she loses, she will f***ing be president. She will not be denied.”

After Stewart left, Springsteen took the stage armed with only an acoustic guitar and played a mini-set of classics, including “Working on the Highway,” “Dancing in the Dark,” and “Darlington County.”

The event raised over $6.1 million for veterans, according to Rolling Stone.


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