Stephen Colbert Mocks Brett Kavanaugh’s ‘White Guy’ Name: Sounds ‘Like a Waiter at a Ruby Tuesday’

Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP, File

Late Show host Stephen Colbert mocked President Donald Trump’s Supreme Court nominee Judge Brett Kavanaugh, labeling him a “white guy” whose name sounds like “a waiter at Ruby Tuesday’s.”

“I don’t know about you, but I am still recovering from watching America’s Next Top Justice last night,” Colbert said at the top of his Tuesday broadcast. “I had a little drinking game. I pour myself a drink every time my glass was empty. I won!”

Colbert went on to say that although he doesn’t “know much” about Kavanaugh, his name “sounds less like a Supreme Court justice and more like a waiter at a Ruby Tuesday.”

“‘Hey everybody, I’m Brett, I’ll be your Supreme Court justice tonight,” he mimicked. “Before you sit down, let me just clear away these rights for you.’”

“Some fear that Kavanaugh would overturn Roe [v. Wade], while others hope Kavanaugh would overturn Roe,” Colbert said. “Either way, Kavanaugh took great pains last night to reassure us that he knows some women.”

Stephen Colbert also expressed his skepticism over Kavanaugh’s age, which would make him the second youngest person on the court after Neil Gorsuch and a year and a half younger than Colbert himself.

“I don’t want some kid making constitutional decisions!” he complained. “I’m 54 and I still can’t decide whether I’m Team Edward or Team Jacob!”

Before his announcement on Monday, Colbert suggested that Trump needed a psychiatric evaluation before carrying out such a decision.
While presenting him as his nominee, Trump described Judge Kavanaugh as someone with “impeccable credentials, unsurpassed qualifications, and a proven commitment to equal justice under the law.”

“In keeping with President Reagan’s legacy, I do not ask about a nominee’s personal opinions, what matters is not a judge’s political views, but whether they can set aside those views to do what the law and the constitution require,” Trump said. “I am pleased to say that I have found, without doubt, such a person,”

Follow Ben Kew on Facebook, Twitter at @ben_kew, or email him at


Please let us know if you're having issues with commenting.