Stephen Colbert: ‘Either Putin Has Something’ on Trump ‘or He’s an Idiot’

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JEROME HUDSON

Late-night host Stephen Colbert cooked up a blackmail conspiracy theory, days after President Donald Trump’s joint presser with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

“Second meeting?! Second meeting — because the first one went so well,” Colbert said at the top of his show Thursday, responding to Trump’s tweet proposing a “second meeting” with Putin “so that we can start implementing some of the many things discussed, including stopping terrorism, security for Israel, nuclear.”
“He’s inviting him to Washington!” Colbert belted after playing a clip showing press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ tweet about the administration’s plans for high-level talks with Russia.
“Nothing could have gone worse than your meeting in Helsinki,” fumed Colbert, before floating his conspiracy that Putin must have some damaging information on President Trump. “It embarrassed our country, it enraged our allies, it strongly reinforced the idea that Putin’s got something on you, and it’s the first time your party turned against you even a little.”

Colbert continued, offering an “intervention” for President Trump.

“Today, we’re holding an intervention. Mr. President, thank you for being here. I’ve written my thoughts down because this is so emotional,” the CBS host began. “Sir, you’re here because we love our country very much, and you are — in it. And we need you to hear some things. When you attack NATO, I feel like I’m being attacked. And your friend Vladimir? He’s not really your friend, O.K.?”

“You’re doing what he wants because you think it’s fun, but what you don’t realize is, if you ever step out of line, he’s going to show the world that you’re a big, dirty clown who loves the pee-pee,” Colbert continued. “So, instead of sucking up to dictators, we want you to find a safer hobby. Like volcano parkour, or shark dentistry, or heroin. We’ve got a facility waiting for you. You can go there any time and we’ll pay for it! Paul Manafort’s already there.”

Follow Jerome Hudson on Twitter: @JeromeEHudson

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