Nolte: Woke Crusade to Give Greta Gerwig a ‘Little Women’ Oscar Fails

VENICE, ITALY - SEPTEMBER 10: Actress Greta Gerwig attends the 'Damsels In Distress' premiere and closing ceremony during the 68th Venice Film Festival at Palazzo del Cinema on September 10, 2011 in Venice, Italy (Photo by Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images for Lancia)
Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images for Lancia

America’s Woke Fascists launched an affirmative action crusade to win Greta Gerwig a Best Director Oscar, and that effort just exploded on the launch pad.

Gerwig did not even win a nomination.

LOL.

Granted, I haven’t seen Gerwig’s Little Women, and according to the Wokesters in the Fake Media, that makes me problematic (by the way, I love being problematic. I want my tombstone to read: “He Spent His Life Being Problematic.”). My sin here is that I’m a guy who isn’t interested in seeing the umpteenth remake of Tinseltown’s ultimate chick flick. Actually, my sin is far worse. After all, I’m a guy paid to see movies, who can literally brag: They couldn’t pay me to see Little Women.

Yes, I am history’s greatest monster.

Not having seen Little Women, though, means I cannot argue whether or not Gerwig deserves an Oscar nod based on merit. The movie itself won a Best Picture nomination. So that’s something. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean what it used to. When there were only five Best Picture and five Best Director nominations, a snub like this was bizarre. But now that the number of Best Picture nominations has expanded to as many as ten, five directors are going to get snubbed.

Anyway, regardless of merit, watching the Woke Fascists lose their number one Oscar Cause is glorious. It also means Hollywood is not entirely in the sway of these godless, anti-art crybullies, because this is two big losses in a row for the crybullies, who just last year tried to derail Green Book’s Best Picture win by claiming it wasn’t woke enough.

Here are some examples of how this year’s affirmative action campaign for Gerwig looked:

Vanity Fair declared, “Little Women Has a Little Man Problem”:

Many male awards-season voters are skipping Greta Gerwig’s adaptation, apparently because they think it’s not for guys. Says one cast member, “I just can’t believe we’re still having this f–king discussion.”

Washington Post sniffed, “Dear men who are afraid to see ‘Little Women’: You can do this”:

Could you be a Little Women Man and not even know it? I wish you would find out. Open yourself to the idea that messages of devotion, kindness and caring are not the purview of women alone. See “Little Women.” Expand society’s narrow ideas about what constitutes a fulfilling emotional experience for men, one ticket at a time.

IndieWire whined, “Will Men Go See ‘Little Women?'”

New Yorker snarked, “Retitling ‘Little Women’ to Entice Men to Go See It.”

New York Times critic Janet Maslin sounded the alarm this way: “The ‘Little Women’ problem with men is very real. I don’t say that lightly and am very alarmed. In the past day have been told by 3 male friends who usually trust me that they either refuse to see it or probably won’t have time”:

There are plenty of other examples, but the agenda here is far from subtle. MEN are the problem because MEN aren’t interested in a tired chick flick that’s already been filmed a half dozen times.

The whole concept is, of course, absurd and fake news. If ten million people see a movie, you’ve got a $100 million hit on your hands, and there are more than 150 million women in this country. So… if Little Women disappoints at the box office, how is this a man problem when it could not even attract enough women?

For the record, Little Women is doing okay at the box office, $75 million so far. It probably won’t clear $100 million domestic, but it’s a respectable success.

As far as the Oscars go, anywhere from 30 to 35 percent of Oscar voters are female. Another 987 percent are male feminists, pajama boys, or transitioning. So how is Gerwig not being nominated a MALE snub?

Besides, Gerwig was nominated in 2017 for directing Lady Bird, another girly movie I will never see.

Honestly, why would any self-respecting man watch Little Women when Steven Seagal, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Nicholas Cage are loading up the Redbox every week with their latest direct-to-video spectacular?

And did men crybaby after all three Takens — all three of them — failed to receive even one Oscar nomination — a snub obviously due to a bunch of sexist, narrow-minded women failing to see the glory that comes with watching a man (with a very particular set of skills) kill bad people?

This estrogen-fueled bigotry has to stop.

Chick flicks are like health insurance. I used to see chick flicks. I used to purchase health insurance. It was only after the bossypants left started telling me I had to that I stopped doing both.

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