Nolte: Homophobia? Math Proves 95% of Gays Avoided Billy Eichner’s ‘Bros’

University Pictures
University Pictures

Billy Eichner is blaming homophobia for his humiliating box office flop Bros.

Except, uhm, the math proves that gay Americans also avoided Bros in droves.

Eichner’s Bros, a gay romantic comedy filled with graphic gay sex, was given a wide release in 3,350 theaters. With a $25 million production budget and a marketing budget that must have at least tripled that, Universal treated Bros like it was a romcom starring a Sandra and a Hugh. Additionally, woke critics lifted this sucker to a 91 percent fresh at Rotten Tomatoes. What more could Billy Eichner want?

Well, now Eichner is mad because nobody showed up.

Bros opened in fourth place to a humiliating $4.8 million.

And who’s the spiteful, spoiled Eichner blaming? Homophobes and the Red States, natch. Here are a couple of the privileged crybaby’s crybaby tweets:

Even with glowing reviews, great Rotten Tomatoes scores, an A CinemaScore, etc, straight people, especially in certain parts of the country, just didn’t show up for Bros. And that’s disappointing but it is what it is.

Everyone who ISN’T a homophobic weirdo should go see BROS tonight! You will have a blast! And it *is* special and uniquely powerful to see this particular story on a big screen, esp for queer folks who don’t get this opportunity often. I love this movie so much. GO BROS!!!

Well, that hate and bigotry spewing from Eichner might make some sense if gays had shown up to see Bros — which they obviously didn’t.

Allow me to do the math…

The American population is roughly 330 million.

Per Gallup, America’s gay population (lesbians, bisexuals, etc.) lands at right around 4.5 percent. So that means about 15 million Americans are Alphabet People.

Because this number is controversial, let’s round it down to ten million.

So.

You have ten million homosexuals in America. How many of those ten million went to see Bros?

How about — lol — less than five percent?

Only around 500,000 people saw Bros over the weekend. That’s it!

So Eichner is blaming homophobia for his movie flopping when less than five percent of homosexuals bothered to show up.

A whopping 95 percent of gays did not bother to see Bros, and we know that number is actually higher. Not everyone who saw Bros was gay. They might be gay now. But they weren’t before they saw the movie. (Relax, Wendy, it’s a joke.)

Had just ten percent of the gay population bothered to see Bros, it would have at least grossed its predicted $8 to $10 million.

Had just 20 percent of the gay population showed up, Bros would right now be considered a hit.

So why is Eichner raging against guys like me, the Red States, and homophobes when he can’t even attract five percent of the gay population to show up for his stupid movie?

I’ll tell you why: he’s an ignorant, bitter bigot who made a movie no one wants to see, not even gay people.

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.

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