Nolte: Good News! Artificial Intelligence Can Resurrect Classic Movie Stars

Another reason to love artificial intelligence (AI) is that it can resurrect classic movie stars.

Celebrities such as James Dean can be brought back to life as digital clones thanks to the power of artificial intelligence, but it is raising troubling questions about what rights any of us have after we die.

Today’s actors are worried about being replaced by AI James Dean.

Cry more, losers.

I say this… Wouldn’t it be great to finally be rid of Meryl Streep and Josh Gad and replace them with Jean Harlow and Lou Costello?

We now live in a strange land where, with few exceptions (Denzel Washington, Sandra Bullock, Clint Eastwood), there are no movie stars. It’s mostly mouthy, smug, classless, unappealing, uptight scolds and idiots covered in spandex surrounded by green screens.

People under 40 have no idea how good life was when movie stars walked the earth. Because people mattered, the movies used to be about real human experiences we all shared. These movies brought us together through laughter, thrills, and tears. Those movies weren’t hollow amusement park rides and jump scares. We used to care about the characters and get lost in their emotional journey.

Thanks to stars, movies almost always had something interesting and important to say about who we are, where we came from, and where we might be going. We were taught to aspire, never to give up, and that we’re imperfect people who can always be better.

What if AI could bring back John Wayne, Charles Bronson, Barbara Stanwyck, Better Davis, Clark Gable, Burt Reynolds, Cary Grant, Carole Lombard, Ingrid Bergman, and the rest all in their prime? What’s the downside?

Oh, I realize some terrible producer could pull a Kathleen Kennedy. What I mean is this… In the same way, Kennedy resurrected Indiana Jones and Luke Skywalker just so she could dump all over them; some hideous producer could make Humphrey Bogart gay or Jean Arthur a transsexual. But I go back to what I said last week about AI taking over screenwriting…

Can things get any worse?

I’ll take a new Veronica Lake/Alan Ladd movie over whatever the insufferable Rachel Zegler and Seth Rogen are serving. At the very least, Lake and Ladd have actual charisma and appeal. Most every so-called “star” today sucks. Zero charisma. Zero appeal. Very little talent… Given the choice, I’ll watch Ava Gardner read the phone book over Jennifer Lawrence’s next project.

Naturally, today’s lackluster talent has expressed concerns:

[There’s] a very real concern for actors who fear that the next phase of digital human resurrection presents troubling ethical, legal and practical issues for both celebrities and everyday citizens. Voice actors, in particular, have been leading the conversation and working across acting guilds to form a unified front in protecting the rights and careers of actors.

“For the voices of Mickey Mouse, Porky Pig, Snow White – every time a voice passes away, a new actor gets hired to play that voice,” Tim Friedlander of the National Association of Voice Actors told the BBC. “But what if you could use Mel Blanc [the voice actor who breathed life into many of the Loony Tunes cartoon characters] forever?”

Friedlander and his voice actor colleagues fear that this situation is imminent, and that digitally resurrected voice actors will monopolise the voiceover industry, eliminating jobs for living actors. “There’s no opportunity for anybody else living because now they’ve lost their job to a deceased voice actor because he’s the original voice of Bugs Bunny, Porky Pig and other [Looney Tunes characters].”

Sorry, but that is how the real world works. If a machine does a better job than you, the machine gets the job. Actors and writers complaining about the unfairness of AI are no different than wagon train bosses complaining about the locomotive or bow and arrow manufacturers complaining about the firearm.

These elites believe they are special and deserve some kind of immunity from progress and science. Why? Why should they be protected from losing their job to a machine, not the coal miner, auto worker, or buggy whip manufacturer?

An actor becomes expendable primarily due to a lack of public affection. No machine will ever replace a Denzel Washington, Sandra Bullock, Clint Eastwood, or Brad Pitt. Why? Because we like them. But most actors and actresses would not be missed. Replacing them with an AI-generated star that delivers class and affection would be a very welcome change.

Bring on our AI overlords. I’m all for it.

The only reason these actors and writers are worried about being replaced by AI is because they know they are not very good at their jobs and are therefore replaceable.

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.