SF Giants Congratulate ‘Christ’ Heston on No-Hit Miracle in Queens

Chris Heston, Buster Posey
The Associated Press

He threw a no-hitter. That doesn’t make him Jesus Christ.

Let anyone among us free from typos be the first to cast a stone.

The San Francisco Giants surely proved fallible in their postgame Tweet congratulating “Christ” Heston on no-hitting the New York Mets at Citi Field with the help of his eight apostles. Jesus Christ, at least according to the evidence presented in the four gospels, never threw a no-hitter.

The rookie pitcher likely understands that nobody’s perfect (particularly PR people who Tweet for a living). The Mets didn’t hit Heston’s pitches. But he hit three Mets with his pitches, which kept him from a perfect game. The three beaned batters stands as a record for a no-hitter.

Heston threw the fourth no-hitter for the Giants since 2010. The no-no marks the 23rd time a rookie has achieved the pitching feat and the first of 2015.

While not Christ, Chris Heston knocked in two runs on a 2-for-4 night at the plate. His Little League coach up from Florida watched in amazement. “He was a really good infielder—a shortstop and third baseman,” Brad Thomsen told the San Jose Mercury News. “He pitched, too, but he wasn’t a star pitcher.”

He can field, pitch, and hit. But can he walk on water?