Bill Belichick to Reporter: ‘What Were You, on SnapFace There?’

Bill Belichick doesn’t do smiles. And he doesn’t do SnapFace, either.

The curmudgeonly coach on Wednesday asked a reporter prying into his connection with an opposing linebacker if he had researched the relationship on “SnapFace.”

Belichick praised Sean Lee of the Dallas Cowboys, calling him “one of the most instinctive linebackers in the league.” The four-time Super Bowl-winning head coach said about his unheralded Sunday adversary: “I knew him when he was just a little guy.” When ESPN beat reporter Mike Reiss inquired about the connection between Belichick and Lee, the New England Patriots coach posed a question of his own to the reporter: “What were you, on SnapFace there?”

The fictional social media venture joins others name-dropped by Belichick over the years in conveying his disdain for the pastimes pursued by young players on their digital thingamabobs and gizmos.

“What’s online, you should go talk to the geniuses that are online,” the 20th-century man said last season after a Patriots scouting report on Johnny Manziel surfaced on the interweb. “I don’t know. MyFace, YourFace, InstantFace. Go talk to whoever you want that does that stuff. I don’t know.”

Despite his expertise in headset frequency interference, locker-room listening devices, and surreptitious surveillance cameras—well documented, or at least not-so-well alleged, in recent Sports Illustrated and ESPN articles—Belichick wants it known that he’s no Twitterican.

“I don’t Twitter,” he informed after Chad Ochocinco’s account suddenly went dark after joining the New England Patriots in 2011. “I don’t MyFace. I don’t Yearbook. I don’t do any of those things.”

Neither did Vince Lombardi, Walter Camp, or Bear Bryant.