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What if Doug Flutie Were 6 foot 6?


The “What If” game is now one of the most popular on the internet.

What if Archie Manning had married a Brazilian model? How many more World Cups would Brazil have?

This silly game is being played because ESPN The Magazine has a column coming out September 5th, “What If Michael Vick Were White?”

Of course, they are doing it to be provocative and get attention (which we are giving them,) but they must also be ridiculed.

What if Wayne Gretzky were born a female in West Virginia?

The media love making race an issue because it sells and they can perpetuate an agenda. It is one of the many things that bond the activist old media and the liberal left; they first see people as categories, not as people. Sit 5 minutes in a consulting meeting and you will get my drift.

What if John McCain had never been captured?

The media will be the first to tell you that a left-handed, transgendered, dark haired, 34 year old, one-legged Asian became mayor of Walla Walla, but the last to tell you what you really need to know; the specific details on the perp who was seen breaking into houses in your neighborhood. Gotta be careful with that, somebody might accuse the media of being racist if they mention specifics. “Police believe the suspect is…a tallish person…perhaps….an older person…but may be a weight challenged person, uh…here’s a generic drawing of an alleged person…be careful out there, we are here to protect you.”

What if New York City really did get hit by a big hurricane?

I read part of the Vick article and found it to be a silly exercise by those who don’t see the world as it is, but choose to see the world as they want it to be, or as they think it should be—or worse yet, they want to play on what they see as racial stereotypes that they believe everybody (except them) has and will never be removed.

I know the media—they love to do that, and they do it better than anybody else out there. Watch an episode of ABC’s “So What Would You Do?” and you will see exactly what I mean. John Quinones is a nice guy (I know him and have worked with him…he is a nice guy) but he always acts amazed when white people come to the defense of the actor paid to play the depressed minority. Oh—they will deny this and will claim they actually work to break down the stereotypes, and sometimes they do—but they also work to keep racial tension alive so that you will buy the next magazine, newspaper, or watch tonight at 11.

What if Michael Vick were really an eagle?

As for the article itself, the author claims he did not know what the headline was going to be and that they would use a picture of a “white” Michael Vick, but whatever—okay, so what? You guys in Bristol sort that out amongst yourselves, I really don’t care.

This ridiculous game could go on and on. Philadelphia Eagles fans want touchdowns and last time I checked, TD’s do not have a color, but you do have to pass through the Red Zone to get one (The NFL may want to reconsider using that phrase in the future.)

What if Sandy Koufax were right handed, or ambidextrous?

What if Chris Matthews’ voice was as deep as Ann Curry’s?

What if Hitler were born in Santa Monica?

What if 6 turned out to be 9? (I stole that one from Jimi Hendrix–Rolling Stone might want to ask “What If” Hendrix was born in Dallas and Stevie Ray Vaughn in Seattle.)

For a real good time, the media should ask itself. What if Rush Limbaugh had written that column instead of ESPN?

Bottom line here, regardless of what you think of Vick, he doesn’t need something like this and in fact doesn’t deserve to have stories like this written about him. Besides, the media is the last group I believe could give an honest evaluation of race.

The one column you know the media will never do: What if Barack Obama’s father were born in Kentucky instead of Kenya?

They love talking race, but that would hit just a little too close to home for ’em.

(btw, the answer to the question at the title of this column is, ….he’d be in the Hall of Fame with 5 Super Bowl rings.)


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