Brass Knucklehead: 49er Chris Culliver Arrested After Hit-and-Run Accident
Chris Culliver ran afoul of cultural enforcers at Super Bowl 47. He ran afoul of law enforcers yesterday.
The 25-year-old cornerback allegedly struck a bicyclist with his Ford Mustang before fleeing the scene. When a motorist followed Culliver and boxed him in, the defensive back got offensive by brandishing some brass knuckles. Did he think he was in a Jimmy Cagney movie?
Culliver ultimately hit the accelerator, crashing into the do-gooder's car in the process. San Jose cops soon caught up to Culliver. They charged him with hit and run, reckless driving, and weapons possession.
“Can’t be with that sweet stuff,” Culliver declared at Super Bowl 47's media day in response to a question about gay NFL players. “Nah, can’t be in the locker room man.” The 49er explained that a hypothetical homosexual player should come out only long after he has retired. “No, we don’t got no gay people on the team,” he told comedian Artie Lange. “They’ve gotta get up outta here if they do.”