Five Craziest Help Requests from Butterball’s Turkey Hotline

Butterball Turkey Talk-Line Expert Marty Van Ness offers turkey tips to help make Thanksgi
AP Images for Butterball / Jim R. Bounds

While many Americans are getting ready to enjoy family, food, and football, a few people are working harder than ever this time of year.

That would be the folks at the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line, which has answered the phone calls from almost three million anxious cooks over the years.

And while many of those callers are asking rather mundane, if essential questions — how long does it take to thaw a turkey, carving tips, etc. — some of the queries are quite notable.

Here are the five craziest questions and answers provided to Breitbart News by Butterball and gleaned from other media outlets that cover this time-honored turkey day tradition:

1. I carved my turkey with a chainsaw… is the chain grease going to adversely affect my turkey?

The answer is simple, yes, carving with a chainsaw is unhygienic, and if you don’t have an electric knife, sharpen a carving set.

2. How do you carve a turkey when all of its bones have been broken?

Apparently, when the caller’s defrosted Thanksgiving turkey didn’t fit in his pan, he wrapped the turkey in a towel and jumped on it until it fit.

Butterball suggested that next year, a larger pan or two smaller turkeys might be a better option. For now: carve carefully and warn your guests about bone shards.

3. What’s the best way to cook a turkey that’s been frozen for since 1969?

After discovering a turkey from 1969 in his dad’s freezer, an Alabama man called the Talk-Line to ask for the best method to cook the old bird. The staffer, who usually recommends the open roasting pan method to cook most turkeys, told him his first step is to purchase a fresher fowl!

4. Why won’t my turkey stop bubbling?

A first-time Thanksgiving chef called in tears on Thanksgiving morning. She was so proud to have thawed the turkey successfully and continued to rinse the turkey – with dish soap! The tears started flowing when the turkey wouldn’t stop sudsing. If only she called before she would have found out you don’t have to rinse the turkey – just pat it dry with paper towels.

5. How do you thaw a frozen Butterball?

A woman from Colorado called about “how to thaw” her frozen Butterball. She proudly shared the fact that her turkey was stored in a snow bank outside. The conversation however quickly ended when it dawned on her that it has snowed the night before and she didn’t have a clue which snow bank her turkey was in. Guess this one will go unanswered.

Got your own questions? The Butterball hotline is (800) 288-8372.

Here’s a list of the most frequently asked questions and answers.

Butterball said that each year 50 people take about 170,000 calls at Thanksgiving.

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