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Lonewolf Diaries: Bill Maher — Politically Correct Coward


Now I hate to be “that guy” who fact-checks jokes and so… I’m not going to be. Let’s be honest though, Bill Maher doesn’t really write jokes these days. He’s instead decided to sermonize on the perils of right-wing Americans through his self-described brand of “political incorrectness.” Of course, the irony is that Bill Maher is the walking, talking, epitome of modern-day political correctness, but shhh… Don’t tell him that. He might get upset. You don’t want to see him upset. I hear that he’s been doing curls.


Let’s examine some of his “politically incorrect” shenanigans from Maher’s latest HBO special, “… But I’m not wrong,” shall we?

Set Up: Early on, he comments on how he loves the South because they are “politically incorrect.” Throughout the remaining hour he continually accuses the South of being racist and dumb along with confessing his hatred for any area of the country that is not a bustling metropolis. Confused?

Spoiler Alert: It doesn’t start making any more sense as we continue.

Bill Maher then talks about his adoration for “Bill Clinton” and playfully says “I love this guy,” when referring to John Edwards. Coming from a guy who drills porn stars to convince himself that the idea of traditional relationships is out-dated… Is this really a surprise? He’s the real life “Alfie”… If Alfie were unattractive and void of boyish charm.

On George Bush: Eleven minutes into it, Bill Maher pulls out the “blame Bush” card to much applause. He’s treading new politically incorrect territory here, as displayed by him revisiting this theme throughout the rest of the evening.

Note: Bill Maher’s smirk reflects that he genuinely believes he’s the first man to call George W. Bush a “retard.” Quick, someone get him a Russell Brand DVD or any Green Day interview ever recorded.

Double Note: The smirk returns when Bill Maher recycles his “I dropped the Bible that I was using to masturbate into my gun,” line. He really likes that line…. I mean, REALLY likes that line. Even the audience groans as he repeats it for the umpteenth time.

On Stupid Americans: Bill Maher digs his heels in deeper and defends his claim that America is stupid.

“You’re like my dog. Dumb as a post, but you make me laugh.”

He does explain that when he says stupid, what he REALLY wants to address is America’s misplaced sense of patriotism. He attacks conservatives who “act” like they support the troops: “We treat our troops the way Michael Vick treats dogs.”

He goes on to say that if we really supported them, we’d withdraw them from battle completely. I silently thank God that Bill Maher has never served… Despite what his pseudo-combat shirt would tell you.

Note: Someone tell Bill Maher that 3:1 of our armed forces backed McCain over Barack Obama. ’twas 4:1 for Bush over Kerry.

On Religion: This is where Maher really gets “politically incorrect.” The comedian displays his fuzzy pair by going after Christians. I know, I know, he’s taking his life into his hands. It’s not like Lenny Bruce did it. It isn’t even as though Bill Hicks did it more proficiently. Bill Maher is truly the first man to cross these boundaries and enlighten the American public on the scourge of silly evangelicals, and the country thanks him for it.

To be fair, he does take a couple of potshots at Islam, but I would estimate that the anti-Christian material vs. all other religions combined would be somewhere around 3:1. Also, while he downplays the threat of actual terrorism, he pulls no punches in displaying the historical harm caused by Christians.

Of course Bill Maher pokes fun at Palin and sexually repressed Christians. If only the rest of us could be so enlightened as Maher and sustain ourselves on nothing but a diet of psychotropic drugs and porn-star sex with “ho’s,” the world would be a much better place.

One notices when watching Maher for an hour and a half, that he is the most self-absorbed stand-up comedian you’ll ever see. I don’t say that in the sense that his material revolves around personal experiences or stories (as with most comics), but in the fact that he constantly tells his audience about what a great show he’s giving them. He’s always aware that he’s performing, and he constantly wants his audience to know that they’re lucky enough to be able to witness it.

The most striking part of Bill’s performance however, is when he makes the public plea for people to be forgiving of him should he ever joke about Obama. A joke about Obama is not a “joke about all black people” he cries. See, the thing is that Bill Maher doesn’t want to die by his own sword. He has openly decried all detractors of Obama as racist tea-baggers, but wants to be free to make his own ethnically charged jokes.

In Bill Maher’s world opposition to this administration’s policies = racist.

Crafting jokes about how Obama needs to “black it up a little more”… Now that’s just good TV.

No wonder Sean Penn likes him.

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