Maduro Announces Launch of ‘Christmas Happiness’ Season in Venezuela

Venezuela’s socialist dictator Nicolás Maduro has announced the country’s Christmas festivities will begin on Wednesday in an attempt to distract from the country’s worsening political, economic, and humanitarian crisis.

“November is coming, and on Wednesday, November 1, Christmas happiness starts because we are going to enjoy the last two months of the year in revelry. There will be a lot of very important surprises,” Maduro said.

Maduro went on to claim that to say that the country’s recent struggles, which include mass poverty and famine, as well a growing scarcity of basic resources such as power, medicine, and sanitary products, “have all been worth it.”

“All our work has been worth it,” he said. “To continue our path of building a country that finds solutions to its problems, as part of a great communal effort amongst Venezuelans who think innovatively.”

Maduro also announced the approval of a 400-billion bolívar emergency fund, equivalent to around $100,000, to go towards regional budgets, work bonuses, and the improvement of public services. Amidst unprecedented levels of inflation, Venezuela’s monthly minimum wage of 97500 bolivars is now down to $2.37, equivalent to just over one cent an hour.

The Maduro regime has used the Christmas season as a distraction from its governing failures for years, now establishing a history of bizarre indoctrination and oppression for the last two months of the year. Last year, Maduro’s police seized nearly four million toys from a private company in order to hand them out to poor children this holiday season.

Maduro has released socialist Christmas carols urging businesses to lower the prices of goods and celebrating Maduro. Last year, a carol celebrated the decision to allow 100 Bolivar bills to be used despite officially being taken out of circulation.

Other initiatives also include the introduction of a “socialist Barbie” sold at a tenth of its retail value, as well as threatening to arrest business owners who refuse to lower their prices for the holiday season.

The regime has also previously accused the opposition of being the “Grinch trying to steal Christmas” after they suggested the country’s collapsing economy not be pressured by even more by weeks of government-sponsored holiday festivals.

“We are already organizing our Christmas schedule and we have many more surprises,” Maduro said this week.” Merry Christmas, as November 1st has already become a tradition for the beginning of Christmas and the happiness of our people.”

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