Every few months, xoJane, Salon, Thought Catalog or some other site posts an article about how offensive it is for men to hold doors open for women or pay on the first date or any number of normal behaviors.
A recent example is a survey that claims that men who hold doors open for women are sexist. From the Daily Mail:
U.S. researchers argue that while women may enjoy being showered with attention, benevolent sexism is ‘insidious’ and men who are guilty of it see women as incompetent beings who require their ‘cherished protection.’
Professor Judith Hall, of Northeastern University in Boston, said: ‘Benevolent sexism is like a wolf in sheep’s clothing that perpetuates support for gender inequality among women.
‘These supposed gestures of good faith may entice women to accept the status quo in society because sexism literally looks welcoming, appealing and harmless.’
It’s a ridiculous premise — but one that feminists and others on the left continue to trot out as evidence of a war on women. While the right seems to have confidence in the popularity of our political ideas, we revel in being martyrs in the cultural war.
My male friends on the right respond to these articles by insisting that they will continue to be chivalrous (more commonly known as just having good manners) despite the world telling them that they are sexist. Rather than mock these feminists and their cohorts in the mainstream and women’s media, they are normalizing the left’s ridiculous views. Much like Greg Gutfeld’s definition of “cool” — “popularity without achievement” — the left benefits when we go along with the narrative that feminists represents a majority of women.
Since I wrote Finding Mr. Righteous, I’ve heard from many men and women about the modern dating scene. I don’t think I’m the exception for wanting to date and eventually marry a man who is confident in himself and his beliefs. I’m also willing to admit that I haven’t always been the woman that man deserves.
Unfortunately, some women are fooled into thinking that their instincts toward traditional roles are antiquated. Instead, they pursue being the “cool” girl (again, see Gutfeld’s definition above). I’ve found that some of the best insight on dating has come from Ann Coulter. In How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must) she wrote:
Instead of wiping away years of humorless feminist tyranny, this new breed of smutty girls have taken the error of the feminists and raised it. There are differences between boys and girls. One of the big ones is: Girls do not relentlessly pursue casual sex. In one famous study conducted at the University of Hawaii – and one that drives sexual egalitarians crazy – male and female “researchers” approached single college students of the opposite sex in bars to propose one of three options: (1) a date, (2) going back to the questioner’s apartment, or (3) immediate sex. Fifty percent of men accepted the date; 69 percent agreed to go back to the apartment; and 75 percent agreed to immediate sex. Half the women agreed to a date; 6 percent consented to go to the apartment, and none – zero – agreed to sex.
Not to belabor the obvious, but the only girls who actively seek casual sex seem to be girls in Milwaukee who think Sex and the City is how the cool New York City chicks really behave. (Or girls in New York City who think Sex and the City is how the cool New York City chicks really behave.)
It’s now fashionable to tout ourselves as victims of a culture that shuns chivalry and traditional roles. It’s time to stop normalizing the left. Mock them, don’t grandstand and lament that you’re part of a dying breed. Most women in America are not giving men dirty looks when they hold open doors. Men feel good when they treat women special, especially those they are dating, and a majority of women appreciate it. It’s the small acts of kindness that can build meaningful relationships.
Most importantly, be confident that the feminists’ view of what women want is not only antiquated but the antithesis of what women really want in a man, which is, ultimately, a gentleman. They’re running scared because we live in a time when women can have it all and most of them want to pursue happiness in traditional roles, not the feminists’ government-centered ideal for them.