Shutdown Theater withers on the vine

As we enter the endgame of the “budget crisis” (reminder: no actual budget will be involved) and Obama’s Shutdown Theater winds down, I thought the most fitting finale would be the President’s shock troops swooping in to barricade the United 93 memorial in Pennsylvania.  

“What kind of fellow – even a federal bureaucrat — is such a dead husk of a human being that he complies with the order to close the mass grave of better men than he will ever be?” Mark Steyn wondered.  

Dead husks of human beings are a Big Government specialty, aren’t they?  From the exhausted victims of ObamaCare, to the greedy archons of Capitol Hill, to the swarm of little tinpot dictators excited by the opportunity to push World War II veterans around, the last few weeks have been a festival of soullessness, Halloween come early.  Power is intoxicating.  The people drunk on it no longer make much pretense of caring about the people they tread underfoot.  

It seems like just yesterday that Obama’s loyal media servants were assuring us he was the most caring, compassionate, righteous Man of the People who ever held the office – a qualification that completely outweighed his conspicuous lack of other qualifications.  But today, he couldn’t care less about dumping 200 percent health insurance premium hikes and $12,000 deductibles on hard-working families, after making them spend days trying to log into his craptastic ObamaCare website.  I’m old enough to remember when the media considered being “out of touch” the ultimate political sin.  Obama couldn’t be less in touch with working Americans if he crawled out of a meteor, drank a bottle of liquid nitrogen to refresh himself, and asked Earthlings to take him to their leader.

But I’ve got to hold the Barrycades around the United 93 memorial in reserve, and declare the most truly fitting Shutdown Theater finale to be the announcement that Michelle Obama’s White House garden has been left to die.  Reuters brings us the sad news:

In the famous White House kitchen garden, tomatoes are rotting on the vine. Herbs have gone to seed. And the sweet potatoes – a favorite of President Barack Obama – have become worm food.

It’s another impact of the government shutdown, one that only the fox and the many squirrels that live on the White House grounds could love.

A foodie blog called Obamafoodarama that obsessively covers the White House “food ephemera” and the administration’s food policy has posted photos of the normally immaculate garden looking more like what most gardeners’ plots appear at this time of the year – overgrown.

“Due to the shutdown, garden maintenance has been reduced considerably and only being watered as needed,” a White House official confirmed, speaking on background.

Those… heartless… Republican… bastards.  They cut off the lavish funding to the White House, sending a thousand or so non-essential staffers packing, and left the First Lady to watch helplessly as her garden degenerated into a twisted mass of leafy wreckage that looks “more like what most gardeners’ plots appear at this time of the year.”  With the Third Assistant Deputy Director of Squirrel and Fox Control on furlough, what was poor Mrs. Obama supposed to do?  

Presumably when the First Family’s immense royal retinue is up to full strength, the garden gets watered more often than needed.  Look upon the devastation you have wrought, Ted Cruz.  Or did Barack Obama’s hysterical fear-mongering attract the worms who ate all his sweet potatoes?  That would be some poetic justice.

Say, you don’t suppose one of Park Service bully-boys could have been rotated off barricade duty to tend that White House garden, do you?  Or – here’s a really radical notion – maybe Michelle Obama could have done it herself, like “most other gardeners.”  Doubtless she was busy planning the luxury vacation she and the President will need to recover from the stress of the shutdown horror.

This should stand as the pre-eminent example of the shivering, neurotic mess our titanic super-government has become.  The Obamas took their own garden hostage.  Or, alternately, you can marvel at how a temporary 17 percent shutdown left one of Earth’s most lavishly funded royal families unable to take care of a tomato plant.  What wonderful, frivolous fun the aristocracy is having, as it drives the rest of us to ruin!