I have nothing but love for the “Austin Powers” trilogy, especially the first act of “Goldmember” which makes me laugh harder than anything since Steve Martin’s rental car meltdown in “Planes Trains and Automobiles.” But it’s been nine years since the last “Austin Powers,” and while I wish Mike Myers the best and would love to see a worthy fourth chapter, unfortunately, the whole idea has a “Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles” stench to it.
You have a character that captured our pop culture imaginations for a time, but too much time has passed since and now the return reeks of desperation from an actor looking for a sure-fire hit and a studio simply cashing in. Could be wrong. Hope I am. The good news is how so very wrong I was about Rambo and Rocky.
$250 MILLION FOR “THE LONE RANGER”?
The biggest news over a slow-news weekend was Disney pulling the plug on what looked to be a can’t-lose hit, “The Lone Ranger” starring Johnny Depp as directed by Gore Verbinski and produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. In other words, the creative trifecta that brought Disney billions of dollars with the original “Pirates of the Caribbean” trilogy.
The talk is that the $250 million budget is what (for now) killed the project. You could also look to the disappointment of “Cowboys and Aliens,” another high-concept Western that didn’t even open well. But then again the Coen Bros. “True Grit” practically printed money without a special effect in sight. Unfortunately, though, Hollywood is usually looking at the last hit or flop to spot a trend — not, you know, the actual trend.
What’s mind-boggling is that a “Lone Ranger” adaptation would cost a quarter-billion dollars. Do movies really need to be that expensive to become hits these days? Hollywood seems to think so — seems to think they need to compete with the spectacle of video games and the shortened attention spans MTV and the Internet have wrought.
Call me old-fashioned, but I still think a good story ultimately triumphs. Wouldn’t it be nice if while on the lookout for a “Western” trend , Hollywood took a good look at why “True Grit” was a hit and “Cowboys and Aliens” wasn’t?
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LAST NIGHT’S SCREENING
The Tourist (2010): Finally caught up with this box office disappointment last night and can understand why, despite two at attractive stars, it failed to capture any kind of audience. The first problem is that, as attractive as they are, Jonny Depp and Angelina Jolie have zero romantic chemistry. A story like this requires sparks and eventual flames. Instead you have Depp’s Frank Tupelo, a Wisconsin math teacher, coming off like a wet rag and Jolie’s mysterious beauty so overpowering him in every scene that you don’t want them to be together. He’s such a wimp he doesn’t deserve her.
Obviously director co-writer Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (who brought us the INCREDIBLE “Lives of Others”) is aiming to bring back the exotic flair and intrigue of films like Stanley Donen’s “Charade” and Hitchcock’s “To Catch a Thief.” The Venice locations are plenty exotic, the stars are perfectly coiffed and “Usual Suspects” screenwriter Christopher McQuarrie serves up all kinds of intrigue, spy-jinx, okay action, and wild plot turns (that mostly fail); but nothing can overcome Depp’s milquetoast character. He’s too submissive, allows himself to be pushed around too much, and the climax can’t rescue the film from the previous 100 minutes.
A little masculinity and a point where Frank attempts to take charge and control of the situation (even if he can’t) would’ve gone a long way. What makes “Charade” and “To Catch a Thief” so timeless has nothing to do with plot twists or locations. The stars are what shines through and most especially the dance of seduction that takes place between them. Women want to be seduced by Cary Grant and men want to seduce Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly.
There’s no romantic wish-fulfillment in “The Tourist,” no vicarious sexual charge.
Such a waste.
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TODAY’S QUICK HITS
OUR OWN MARK BUTTERWORTH’S “A MAN WITH THREE GREAT GERMAN SHEPHERDS” IS NOW AVAILABLE ON KINDLE
AS EXPECTED: AMC RENEWS “BREAKING BAD” FOR 16 FINAL EPISODES
FROM ‘THE DARK KNIGHT RISES’ SET: BATWING, TUMBLERS, CATWOMAN FOOTAGE
PHOTOS FROM “MAN OF STEEL” SET
TEN UNDERRATED ACTORS WHO DESERVE TO BE MORE FAMOUS
YES! “FAST AND FURIOUS 6” WILL HAPPEN
THE SHEEN LEGEND ONLY GROWS LARGER
TOTO: LESSONS LEARNED FROM SUPERHERO SUMMER
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CLASSIC PICK FOR TUESDAY AUGUST 16, 2011
3:30pm EST: HARRY AND TONTO (1974) — A seventy-two year-old New York widower (Carney) and his cat embark on a cross-country odyssey to Los Angeles when his apartment building is torn down. Cast: Art Carney, Larry Hagman, Geraldine Fitzgerald, Ellen Burstyn, Chief dan George, Melanie Mayron Director: Paul Mazursky.
Art Carney shocked everyone taking home the Oscar for Best Actor in 1974, but time has been good to the film and Carney’s performance, both of which are understated and, at times, quite moving. Another reason to watch is the superb on-location, widescreen photography. New York and Los Angeles might not be as seedy as they were 37 years ago, but they had a lot more character.
Episodic, character-driven films are difficult to pull off in a way that holds your attention and the 1970s managed to deliver quite a few of them. This is one of the lesser-known entries, and well worth your time.
–Please send tips/suggestions/requests to jnolte@breitbart.com
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