ABC late-night host Jimmy Kimmel went on the attack against President Donald Trump on Tuesday, accusing him of manufacturing a “fake border crisis” so he can realize his campaign promise of building a wall along the Mexico border.
On Tuesday evening, Trump delivered an address to the American people about the ongoing crisis at the southern border, where he outlined the need for funding to build a wall that would stop the flows over uncontrolled illegal immigration.
“All the major networks covered his speech live, and for good reason,” Jimmy Kimmel began. “It was historic. Rarely does a president of the United States interrupt primetime television to warn us about a completely made-up thing.”
Kimmel then suggested that the speech should be accompanied by the following disclaimer: “The following presidential address is a work of fiction. All personalities, incidents, events, locations and facts were pulled directly from the president’s ass.”
“So with that as a caveat, the president spoke. He did not mention the caravan that was coming to get us three months ago. I don’t know what happened to that, but I guess it disappeared when the election was done,” Kimmel said. “But he does want us to believe there is a crisis at the border beside the one he created. He desperately wants us to be worried about the border.”
However, Kimmel said that Trump has made a “big mistake” in his attempts to achieve this.
“If you are Donald Trump — God forbid — and you make a dumb promise during your campaign like 200 different times to build a wall, and your plan to fulfill that promise you didn’t know you were going to have to fulfill is to get people panicked enough to waste five billion dollars on it, going on TV and telling us there are ‘bad hombres’ sneaking over the border, that’s not going to do it,” he said.
“If you really want to come up with a fake border crisis, make it a scary border crisis. Go on TV and don’t say there are illegal immigrants, say there is an army of chupacabras crawling in through Tijuana,” he continued. “Tell everyone they’ve got red eyes, they’ve got sharp claws, if we don’t stop ‘em they’re going to eat our children and our Instagram.”
The late-night funnyman also took aim at the official Democratic response from Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi, which was widely mocked for their wooden delivery and bizarre staging, with the pair squished together behind one podium.
“These two. I don’t know how many years Ryan and Kelly have left on their contract, but if Nancy and Chuck ever decide to team up… someone needs to get Gelman on the phone. Because they are terrific!” Kimmel quipped. “That’s either a hall or the White House morgue, I’m not sure.”