TBS’s left-wing late-night host Samantha Bee went into to full panic in a rant over Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) and his rising popularity. Bee’s hysteria was over what she described as his “Trumpian ability to weaponize the white resentment and culture war hysteria” and declaring him a racist who should “eat shit.”
“Folks, after five years of the living hell that was the 2020 election, the 2024 presidential election is finally getting into gear, and sweet American Jesus, we may already have a frontrunner for the Republican nomination,” the Full Frontal host said, referencing the Sunshine State governor and his rise in recent polls, including his lead in the Western Conservative Summit straw poll.
“It’s important to note that this was just one straw poll conducted at a Christian university, which explains the strong third-place showing for a plucky lil fetus,” Bee said. “He’s a one issue candidate. Surprisingly, that issue is zoning laws. Who knew?”
She claimed DeSantis has demonstrated what she described as a “Trumpian ability to weaponize the white resentment and culture war hysteria that drive Republican voters.”
“But compared to Trump, research has found that DeSantis is 35 percent less likely to trip over his own dick while trying to enact horrible policies. So it’ll be terrifying if Republicans choose him to Remake America Greater Again Again in 2024. DeSantis rose to power riding Trump like a sucker fish on a doofus shark,” she continued, playing back a spoofy campaign ad showing DeSantis teaching his young children basic tenets of MAGA.
Bee continued, panicking over the issues DeSantis has tackled as governor, from targeting rioters to prioritizing basic election safeguards, which includes enhancing voter ID requirements — something a majority of voters support.
“This spring, in a move clearly targeting the Black Lives Matter movement, DeSantis signed into law HB 1, a piece of anti-protest legislation the governor likes to call his ‘anti-riot bill.’ It’s a completely unnecessary law, especially given that most of the protests held across Florida last summer were peaceful,” she said, failing to mention the violence, riots, and looting that rocked major cities across the nation last summer.
Despite that, in Bee’s eyes, the governor is undoubtedly a “racist.”
“DeSantis was also one of the first governors to attempt removing Critical Race Theory from his state’s education system. And last month, he signed a restrictive voting rights law that racially discriminates against Black and Latino voters. Of course, DeSantis is doing whatever he can to pass racist laws. He’s racist!” she exclaimed, claiming he has “accepted money from a rich tapestry of racists, [and] refused to return their donations.”
“Ron DeSantis is so racist, he refers to separating his white laundry from his colors as segregation. Meanwhile, he chose to celebrate the first day of Pride Month by banning transgender athletes from competing in girls’ and womens’ sports. It was the most disgusting way to kick off Pride I’ve ever witnessed, and I still remember Doritos Rainbows,” she continued before addressing the governor directly and telling him to “please look into my eyes and eat shit.”
“You’re one of the worst governors in Florida history,” she continued, bashing DeSantis for prioritizing freedom throughout the Chinese coronavirus pandemic.
“Even now, he’s still committed to ignoring science, going so far as to ban all businesses from requiring that patrons be vaccinated. His shitty posturing in the form of leadership has helped contribute to Florida’s more than 2 million cases. And it introduced the slippery wet ’n’ wild variant,” she said, continuing her rant by describing DeSantis as “a slightly less dumb, more competent version of Trump” who “could be very dangerous.”
“Whether his agenda is passed or not, DeSantis still wins by signaling his MAGA values to a base that may be eager for a Trump 2.0, minus some of the bugs of the defective first version. For now, DeSantis’ biggest weakness might actually be his popularity. Trump’s fragile ego requires him to lash out at anyone who threatens his dominance, so he’s unlikely to cede the 2024 nomination without a vicious fight,” she continued.
“Perhaps our best hope is that the two split the vote and take each other out, leaving Democrats to run against the Republicans’ next strongest contenders. I don’t know, man. Amy Grant seems nice,” Bee said.
Indeed, DeSantis has prioritized freedom during the Chinese coronavirus pandemic, allowing businesses to operate and ensuring that Floridians will not be alienated if they choose not to get vaccinated.