UPDATE: As of early Thursday afternoon, The Marvels has squeaked to a barely fresh 61 percent since this piece was published.
The Disney Grooming Syndicate’s The Marvel’s looked pretty doomed before the release of all these terrible reviews.
Y’all know my thoughts on this… When a movie like The Marvels earns negative reviews, it must really, Really, REALLY stink. Why? Because almost all film critics are left-wing, and left-wing critics review movies like The Marvels on the most generous curve possible. To begin with, Disney is a left-wing company. Then there’s the fact The Marvels was produced to hit all the left-wing sweet spots. You have Ms. Marvel — the first Middle Eastern superheroine. You have Captain Marvel — a chick. Then there’s Captain Monica Rambeau — who is black.
There is no way a movie like this can lose unless it really, Really, REALLY sucks, and The Marvels must really. Really, REALLY suck because over at Rotten Tomatoes, this left-wing Marvel flick sits at 52 percent rotten after 88 reviews have been filed. More reviews will come in, so that number will fluctuate, but not by much.
Among top critics, The Marvels sits at a disastrous 34 percent.
Irish Times: A solid contender for the worst Marvel film yet … To say The Marvels is hard to watch would be to risk understatement. It’s not just that it’s not very good. It is hard to watch in the sense that a tree is hard to defibrillate.
New York Post: If you thought “Eternals” and “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania” were low points for the limping Marvel Cinematic Universe, strap in for the ride to abject misery that is “The Marvels.”
And so…
With a reported price tag of $275 million, not counting promotion costs, The Marvels is shaping up to be a full-blown catastrophe for everyone involved, especially Disney and the overall Marvel franchise — which was already faltering. Disney’s political decision to embrace identity politics has already killed its Star Wars and Indiana Jones franchises, and now the once indestructible Marvel Cinematic Universe is on the ropes.
Disney stupidly killed off and emasculated its beloved Marvel icons and replaced them with sexless, humorless girlbosses like Captain Marvel and Ms. Marvel. Why?
Things are so bad that even the entertainment trades have been forced to take notice. However, the trades naturally lack the moral courage to point out why Marvel is failing, namely the lunatic embrace of woketardery, homosexuality, and feminist propaganda. Two hairy men kissing in The Eternals — the first bonafide Marvel flop — might be remembered as the watershed moment when it all came crashing down.
If its 52 percent rotten rating holds, The Marvels will earn the distinction of having the third worst Rotten Tomatoes rating in the 15-year history of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Only The Eternals (2021) at 47 percent and Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantunobodycares (2023) at 46 percent fared worse.
At this point, though, The Marvels is looking like it will open to a lot less money than The Eternals or Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantunobodycares, which opened to $71 million and $106 million, respectively. The latest tracking shows The Marvels opening between $45 million and $62 million, which is a catastrophe either way when you are talking about a production and promotion budget close to $400 million.
CEO Bob Iger has turned Disney into a cult built around child grooming and identity politics. There is just no other way to explain putting some $400 million into a movie starring Brie Larson and the character from Ms. Marvel, a streaming show no one liked. Disney shareholders must be going out of their heads.
The Marvels opens wide on Friday. Positive reviews were the last hope it had to overcome all the bad buzz. The opposite just happened. I don’t go around predicting box office. But I do hate Disney, so I’m hoping The Marvels flops, and my hopes are sky-high right now.
John Nolte’s debut novel Borrowed Time (Bombardier Books) is available today. You can read an exclusive excerpt here and a review of the novel here.
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