Confirmed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh has become a sex symbol.
For legions of women out there in America today, they simply cannot get through the day without fantasizing about bold and forceful sexual relations involving Justice Kavanaugh. That’s right, confirmed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, who was confirmed to the Supreme Court last year.
He was confirmed by the United States Senate, which confirms judicial nominees nominated by the president to the Supreme Court. Sitting president Donald Trump nominated now-confirmed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh to the Senate, which — not to belabor the point — confirmed Justice Kavanaugh to the highest court in the land, where he continues to sit today.
And will likely serve for many, many decades to come.
Justice Kavanaugh was confirmed to the Supreme Court last year despite a flood of women coming from the farthest reaches of America to fantasize publicly about sexual relations with Justice Kavanaugh.
Like sex symbols of every stripe, Justice Kavanaugh has been reduced to nothing but his virile male-ness. His thoughts and his words mean nothing to these rabid sexual fantasizers. They cannot judge the man for his mind or his actions, only for his body.
Nobody is more thoroughly caught up in full swoon hyper-sexualizing confirmed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh than the Gray Lady herself, The New York Times. After decades of menopause, the Gray Lady has gone into heat.
Take that, Sarah, wife of Abraham!
In a Twitter message, the Horny Gray Lady dreamed of “harmless fun” with Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, disrobed.
“Having a penis thrust in your face at a drunken dorm party may seem like harmless fun. But when [confirmed Supreme Court Justice] Brett Kavanaugh did it to her, Deborah Ramirez says, it confirmed that she didn’t belong at Yale in the first place.”
Clearly, according to the Horny Gray Lady, Ms. Ramirez just doesn’t know a good time when it is shoved in her face.
All of this would be terribly troubling if it were not pure fantasy. But then again, it is terribly troubling that there are all these women in America today so thoroughly stricken by such fantasies involving a man they have never met.
Clearly, these are people who are sick and broken. All alone. They are crazed stalkers who hear voices in their heads.
It is hard not to feel sorry for them.
Even more worrisome than their present obsession with confirmed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh is what happens to their minds when their spiritual idol, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, hangs up her robe for good. After all, she is 86 years old.
They just have to pray that she doesn’t quit in the next five years.
But then again, Justice Ginsburg is still four years younger than Sarah was when she gave birth to Isaac. So, at least there is that.
In the meantime, keep your skirt on, you dirty Gray Lady!
• Contact Charles Hurt at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter @charleshurt.