Fever Dreams from the Quarantined Zone

Woods
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The PGA Tour came out with an unsurprising statement last week that postponed the next 4 weeks of planned tournaments. Additionally, The PGA of America has also postponed May’s PGA Championship for a date later this year TBA.

Another depressingly familiar news item in the world of sports.

If you looked closer though, there is a ray of hope. The United States Golf Association (USGA) is still holding the dates of June 18-21 to play the U.S. Open at Winged Foot Golf Club in Mamaroneck, NY. The tournament is scheduled to finish on Father’s Day. God willing, this will be one of the greatest days in our country’s history. If we can get this virus under control in the next week 8 weeks, I envision President Trump holding a surprise news conference. He updates America on how our diligence, discipline and faith has brought us through one of the toughest times in our nation’s history. He congratulates Americans and brings out a special guest; none other than Tiger Woods who has a major announcement. Tiger takes the dais and says, “after the hardships and isolation of the last 10 weeks, it’s time for some fun and games. To that end, President Trump and I would like to announce that the US Open Golf championship will be the first event in America to start on schedule. I have been able to recuperate from my back injury over the last few months so I’ll be ready to go. As always, the tournament will end on Father’s Day and President Trump would like to make that a National Day of Celebration.”

How great would that be? Neighborhood cookouts, family gatherings, block parties and you know the good Lord will give us perfect weather. Reconnecting with family and friends you’ve been isolated from for months. The mood in the country will be at an all-time high. Father’s Day will be like VJ Day with sailors kissing women in the street- masks off.

We need this to happen.

To take this fantasy a little further how about Rickie Fowler wins the U.S. Open? He’s arguably the most popular player in America and may be a legitimate good guy. You never can tell with athletes but I’ve heard good things. He’s also never won a major so this will be a breakthrough moment for him. The New York crowds will be going crazy rooting for Rickie and the atmosphere will be electric. Trump and Tiger will be there to present the trophy as this is too big a deal for the normal USGA official presentation. Their sons Baron and Charlie will be there in the background looking proud and patriotic and not at all disinterested like most teenagers.

Rickie will then give a heartwarming speech comparing his struggles in major championships to America fighting the virus and how they both persevered and ultimately triumphed. He’ll then share with the world that he and his wife Allison Stokke (google her) are expecting their first son and they’re naming him either “Trump” or “The Donald”…not Donald but “The Donald”. There wouldn’t be a dry eye in the house. Even the drunk and rowdy New York golf fans would be crying into their beers. It would be the perfect ending. Additionally, it will start a rapprochement with Asian countries as Rickie is a quarter Japanese. He’s made for this moment. The Chinese leaders watching from afar but will be so moved by the scene they will immediately close all their wet markets and start adhering to international law.

A man can dream.

Dan Redmond covers golf for Breitbart and can be found on Twitter @danfromdc

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