Americans are firmly convinced that the Democrats are the party of giveaways. How do we know? According to a new poll from the Democratic organization Public Policy Polling, 44 percent of Americans think Santa Claus would vote Democrat, against 28 percent who say he is a Republican. Nonetheless, the American public thought by a margin of 63 percent to 37 percent that Mitt Romney was more likely to receive a nice gift from Santa this year; Obama won just a bare majority of gifting support, at 51 percent to 49 percent.

The truth, of course, is that Santa Claus would most certainly be a Republican. First, he’s religious; the Democratic Party has made it clear that the only Santa Claus is the government. Second, Santa doesn’t tax you in order to give you gifts worth less than your tax dollars. Third, Saint Nicholas himself gave poor women money so they could get married and avoid becoming prostitutes, not free contraception so they could testify before Congress.