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The Wedding of the Century!


Oh puleeeeeeeese. Can we cut the crap with the Royal Wedding?

We’re all happy for the couple, but just let them get married and get on with their lives. My suggestion; come to Vegas and get it done at the Little Wedding Chapel of the Holy Roulette Table, or whatever it’s called. It was good enough for Joan Crawford and Michael Jordan. But I should add, since President Obama has twice told people not to come to Las Vegas, a Royal Elope is probably not an option (although I’ll betcha they’ve thought about it).

The pomp and circumstance the media is creating is absolutely ridiculous. I’m begging for one activist old media person to look at the camera, be real, and say, “You know what, I could really give a damn about the Royal Wedding.” Being real has never been TV news’ strong point, so that’s not likely to happen.

Yes, this has already been called The Wedding of the Century, so I’m trying desperately to find some context here, and this is all I can come up with; I covered boxing in Vegas for nearly three decades and we had a “Fight of the Century” every six months. Yes, I would ridicule it whenever promoters would tout their fights with too much hype and I would say something like this, “Hey, they’re opening the Mirage and Sugar Ray Leonard is fighting Roberto Duran! It’s the Fight of the Century. Didn’t they already fight twice this century?” Like Duran, I say no mas to the Wedding of the Century. I first tagged Tyson/Holyfield II “The Bite of the Century,” so I’ve got some history with this sort of hype.

Every network has anchor teams in London for the Main Event and they cannot seem to get enough. The networks have become the Bob Arum’s and Don King’s of the Royal Wedding. Call it “The Thrilla in the Villa,” or something like that. It needs a slogan.

While touring London from the top of an open double decker bus this week, Robin Roberts proclaimed, “I got chills,” as she passed The Goring Hotel and was told that’s where the Middleton family (that would be the bride’s family) would be staying the night before the wedding. Yep—chills! I’m not making this up. She ended her piece by saying (twice) “Everybody wants to be here.” No, sorry to inform you, everybody doesn’t want to be there. I’ll be getting yard work done this weekend and I’m looking forward to it.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the feature stuff and the fun stuff in newscasts, but this speaks to some sort of Royal Obsession. But you could argue that the activist old media is doing this intentionally to take time from the real news of the day in order to protect Dear Leader. The more they do stories on the Official Royal Wedding Cake Maker’s grade school teacher, the fewer stories they do on Obama’s War in Libya, Obama’s falling poll numbers, Obama’s economic disaster, Obama’s social engineering takeover of America, and Obama’s lack of a laser like focus on jobs, but I won’t go there (even though I just did.) Remember time and resources are tight in newscasts these days.

The New York Times, in what is probably another salvo in the real Fight of the Century between print and electronic media says that the Wedding of the Century is drawing a “yawn from many Americans.” Hey, I’ll go with the Greyest of Old Ladies on this one.

On the other side of the pond they are laughing at us. They think we may want to try that Monarchy thing ourselves in this country. On this rare occasion, the British press have it right; yes, there are some media folk in this country who would love to live in ObamaLand with King Barry the First.

I would suggest to viewers to just flip the channel and try to find something worthwhile on TV right now, but there are two problems with that–every channel is consumed with the “Gabby at the Abbey” and there really is nothing much worthwhile on TV these days. The Shield ended after its 7th season.

So–the only answer is to just turn off the TV this week, and part of next–you know this will go on for a while. This time next week they will be in full Post-Wedding Extra Special Exclusive Coverage (the moving graphics and audio tracks have already been made) where they give us more details than we want to know of the Honeymoon of the Century.

I hope for a safe and happy wedding for the Royal Couple later this week, but we all know there are much bigger weddings to come. Sasha and/or Malia presumably will get married someday and that will be the Wedding of the Millennium for the activist old media. Heaven help them.

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