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NFL Fines Marshawn Lynch for Crotch Grab

Santa Claus giveth. Roger Goodell taketh away.

The NFL levied an $11,050 fine against Marshawn Lynch in the wake of Week 16. This time, the league punished the running back for his expressiveness rather than his silence.

The Seahawks tailback rumbled 79 Bo Jacksonesque yards for a highlight-reel touchdown against the Arizona Cardinals. It left fans, if not Lynch, talking. So did his end zone celebration.

Whereas the run conjured up images of Bo, the celebration clearly found influence in Michael. Lynch jumped and grabbed his crotch in the end zone. Shamon!

The NFL issued a six-figure penalty against Beast Mode for refusing to speak with the media, people Michael Jackson avoided by wearing veils and hiding behind an entourage, earlier this season. As MJ would surely tell ML from the Great Beyond, journalists, they’re just “ignorant.”

At the Super Bowl, Lynch left Breitbart Sports (see pic), and hundreds of other journalistic outfits, hanging by pulling a “This Is It” and no-showing. Last month, in an effort to comply with league rules, the Seahawks back offered monosyllabic “yeahs” to the football Fourth Estate. Last week, he answered a series of diverse questions with variants of “thank you.”

No, Marshawn, thank you. And a mamasaymamasamamacoosa to you and yours this holiday season.

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