Andrea Peyser

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Celebutard of the Week: Joe Jackson

In the unappetizing race to scavenge the remaining flesh from the bones of Michael Jackson, Joe Jackson, the star’s Daddy Dearest, is turning the singer’s death into a spectacle unimagined by Barnum & Bailey. Joe, to whom his son left

Celebutard of the Week: Michelle Obama

What’s the matter, Michelle? Did the White House food taster quit? Michelle Obama really, really likes life in the White House, what with all the toadies and underlings scampering under foot. The mystery is how did she ever manage before

Celebutard of the Week: Janeane Garofalo

Janeane Garofalo is an unreconstructed, unapologetic racist. Yet the uncouth actress will never be punished, vilified or marginalized, because she openly disparaged the one ethnic group which enjoys no Hollywood protection. That would be white people. Particularly, white people from

Celebutard of the Week: Ron Howard

Question: What do you get when you cross an American icon such as Academy-award-winning director and former kid actor Ron Howard with the continent of Europe – and shake with double doses of celebrity idiocy? Answer: A baguette-eating Celebutard. Oh,

Celebutard of the Week: Madonna Redux

The African nation of Malawi is one of the poorest places on earth, a land in which villagers easily live an entire year on less than Madonna’s annual budget for soy chai latte, and AIDS claims a depressing chunk of

Celebutard of the Week: Madonna

This is an emergency Madonna update, a warning that the one-time Material Girl has turned from a bra-baring, Britney-slurping, intercourse-simulating extrovert into a greedy baby-collector. At mid-life, an unmarried Madonna is, right now, in the African nation of Malawi, choosing

Celebutard of the Week: Robert Redford

Robert Redford likes to play the nation’s Environmentalist in Chief, making the wildly earnest claim in last week’s Huffington Post that he was “too early on solar power.” He boasts, like a self-absorbed prophet, that he promoted clean energy way

Celebutards of the Week: Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey

Jackie Kennedy did it graciously. Hillary Clinton did it grudgingly. First Ladies have reinvented themselves into softer, gentler, more user-friendly versions of their former ornery selves since the dawn of TV. But none has done it so radically and dramatically

Another Celebutard of the Week: Jeremy Piven

You are what you eat, I guess. It was the performance of Jeremy Piven’s life. Last week, he tearfully persuaded five fellow actors that he was deathly ill from mercury poisoning due to his lifelong love of sushi – and

Celebutard of the Week: Gwyneth Paltrow

After winning the Oscar for Shakespeare in Love, Gwyneth Paltrow has been shamefully idle (Shallow Hal, anyone?) Even her latest film, Two Lovers, co-starring Joaquin Phoenix, premiered, depressingly unnoticed, at the Sunshine Cinema on New York’s Lower East Side. But

Celebutard of the Week: Bill Maher

You’d think they’d learn. The Oscars have always been a venue where celebs bash presidents, governments and endorse leftist candidates. But this year the Oscars hit a low even for Hollywood – allowing Bill Maher to bitterly bash religion. For

Celebutard of the Week – Sean Penn

He’s the gift who just keeps on giving. This week’s featured Celebutard already figures like an incurable disease in my new book, “Celebutards: The Hollywood Hacks, Limousine Liberals and Pandering Politicians Who Are Destroying America” (Kensington). He is Sean Penn

Celebutard of the Week: Cher

My new book, “Celebutards: The Hollywood Hacks, Limousine Liberals and Pandering Politicians Who Are Destroying America” can’t possibly keep pace with the full-mouth, feeble-brained rants that emanate regularly from the celebutard mouth. So I’m offering a Celebutard of the Week.