Occam, Call Your Office: The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Strikes Again

For the left and the leftists in the media, no news development favorable to the right is ever subject to Occam’s Razor, which posits that the simplest explanation for any given event is the one most likely to be true. Instead, they prefer to see conspiracies everywhere. In their primitive, increasingly demented fantasy world, dark forces are always in motion: a team of invisible gunmen took out JFK in Dallas instead of a communist with a rifle and a vantage point; Bush blew up the levees in New Orleans, instead of years of corrupt neglect.

And if Sarah Palin’s somehow involved… well, their heads just can’t rotate fast enough, as this clip from ABC’s lobster-shift program, World News Now, clearly shows:

Why else would Levi Johnston apologize for slandering the Palin family?

It can’t be that he was a teenage boy, caught up in the hostile glare of a national press corps that made it Job One to destroy the only real threat to their beloved Bambi and the fulfillment of the great Narrative many of them had spent their lives fashioning. It can’t be that he was the jilted boyfriend, trying to come to grips with the responsibilities of becoming, prematurely, a father. It can’t be that, as a kid from Nowhere, Alaska, he saw a shot a national prominence, listened to the whispers in his ear, and decided to go for it.

It can’t be that he now feels genuine regret for having allowed himself to be used by the vultures of the press.

No… the Palin family must have gotten to him.

Yeah, that’s it. It’s all clear now.

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