Daily Call Sheet: 'RoboCop,' 'Starship Troopers' Remakes, Kevin Smith's Meltdown and Oscar's Salvation?

THE PROBLEM WITH KEVIN SMITH

Yep:

So it pains me to have to say that ‘Real Life’ Kevin Smith is anything but “silent” in our sphere of reality. Instead, Smith has become more and more adept at alerting everyone in the industry to the fact that he is one of the most insufferable, irritating, and loudmouthed actors and directors this side of Uwe Boll.

In my mind, Smith just hasn’t handled the fall of his career very well. Rather than focus on rehabilitating his craft, Smith’s neurotic insecurities have gotten the best of him and his need to bare his ass in public is only a symptom of a much larger problem.

There’s a second act in Smith. He just needs to make another “Chasing Amy.” He has it in him, obviously, but there’s no shortcut to a “Chasing Amy.” That kind of genius only comes from inspiration and hard work.

The wretched “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” was a gimmicky shortcut: “I’m going to be Judd Apatow now.” “Cop Out” was a gimmicky shortcut: “I’m going to bring back 80’s style action now.” “Red State” was a gimmicky shortcut: “I’m going trash the Right to earn back that love from the Leftist entertainment media and Hollywood now.”

Smith’s most desperate move was announcing his retirement.

I predict that once Smith removes his head from hindquarters and is able to mature to a point where he realizes he’s his own worst enemy, that will motivate him to get back to the hard work of making his own “Gone Baby Gone.”

Smith is reportedly pretty close with Ben Affleck. They should talk. They have much in common.

STARSHIP TROOPERS’ REMAKE IN THE WORKS

You can’t “remake” Doogie Howser in a SS uniform. You can’t remake the tone, the subversive anti-fascist themes, the epic presence of Michael Ironside, or all of that glorious nudity.

You can steal “Starship Troopers” story points but you can’t remake it.

MOVIE STAR DEATH WATCH: TWO BRUCE WILLIS FILMS GOES STRAIGHT TO DVD

And Willis is still one of Hollywood’s few remaining bright spots.

YEAR OF THE HUNK: HOW GEORGE CLOONEY, BRAD PITT COULD SAVE THE OSCARS

I respect The Hollywood Reporter, but this is dumb:


But if the best-picture nominees are short on crowd-pleasers, a posse of hot actors could provide ratings insurance. Certainly, it would help the surrounding media industry that feeds into the Oscars. “It’s an exciting possibility that George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Matt Damon, the men from the Ocean’s movies, could all be on the red carpet together competing for best actor,” says Entertainment Tonight executive producer Linda Bell Blue. “And they all play strong men with backbone, which is what female moviegoers are looking for.”

Which female moviegoers are they talking about? Bubble-dwellers in Hollywood and the press? Because Brad Pitt’s last two starring roles (and I’m a fan) grossed $73 million and $13 million respectively; Clooney s “starpower” speaks for itself, and Matt Damon’s only box-office hit since the last “Bourne” film way back in 2007 was “True Grit.” Nine others have either outright flopped or disappointed.

Female moviegoers aren’t excited enough to go to their movies, so I’m failing to see where this salvation might come from.

I do, however, appreciate THR admitting the Oscars need saving. Step one after all is admitting you have a problem.

POLL: WHICH FRANCHISE DO YOU PREFER, ‘STAR WARS’ OR ‘STAR TREK’?

Oh, “Star Trek” by a wide margin. “Star Wars” died some thirty years ago about 80 minutes into “Jedi” when those goddamned Ewoks showed up. “Star Trek,” however, lives on and while it’s arguably produced some weaker entries, especially from the “Next Generation” crew, not a single one has sucked as hard as the “Star Wars” prequels.

George Lucas blows, and he can go pound sand for refusing to release on Blu-ray the original trilogy in its original form. Goodwill matters in legacy-building and Lucas has squandered almost all of his.

Hack.

‘ROBOCOP’ HELMER DISCUSSES THE REBOOT’S STORY & THEMES

See my comments on “Starship Troopers.”

What an awesome surprise the original ‘RoboCop’ was. I still remember sitting in the theater and being completely blown away by what I expected to be a B-level grinder. The thematically-driven, visceral actioner still plays just as well today. Just a few weeks ago I screened it on Blu-ray and it held my attention from opening frame to close.

There’s just nothing like a B-movie that rises above its station … accidentally. There’s a cinematic sweet spot for that achievement few films reach. “Species,” “Near Dark,” “The Hidden,” “Road House,” “Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” “Resident Evil,” “Enter the Dragon,’ “Above the Law…”

Sublime.

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LAST NIGHT’S SCREENING

What the hell did I watch last night?

UPDATE: Oh yeah, the new “Fright Night” on Blu-ray. Pretty good. I have a pile of films here to review. Just need the time to put a column together that knocks them all out.

Also watched a few more episodes of the “Wild Wild West” and discovered that regardless of what you’re doing, if you hum the show’s theme while doing it, it becomes badass. Wash the car, wait for microwave popcorn to pop, get the mail , pump gas… Doesn’t matter. Hum the theme and it takes the mundane to a whole new level of cool.

Try it and tell me I’m wrong.

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SCOTTDS’ EPIC LINK-TACULAR

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THE 100 BEST BRITISH FILMS EVER

HARLAN ELLISON DROPS ‘IN TIME’ LAWSUIT

ROGER MOORE’S LOW POINT: BECOMING TOO OLD TO PLAY BOND

ACTRESS ALICE EVE CAST IN ‘STAR TREK’ SEQUEL

WHERE TO SEE ‘DARK KNIGHT RISES’ PROLOGUE

ADAM SHANKMAN TO DIRECT NEW VERSION OF THE NUTCRACKER

‘BLUES BROTHERS’ MALL TO BE DEMOLISHED

TOP 10 EPISODES OF ‘BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

HOW TO PICK OUT THE PERFECT PRESENT (ACCORDING TO THE MOVIES)

NICOLAS CAGE’S COPY OF ACTION COMICS #1 SELLS FOR A RECORD-BREAKING $2,161,000!

INDIANA JONES’ WHIP UP FOR AUCTION

HOW TO REDISCOVER THE OBSCURE TV SHOWS AND MOVIES THAT MADE YOUR CHILDHOOD WEIRD

‘WALTONS’ STILL A HAPPY FAMILY AFTER 40 YEARS

MOVIE TERMS THAT SHOULD BE RETIRED

2011 FALL TV UPDATE: RENEWED & CANCELED SHOWS

FAHRENHEIT 451′ IS NOW AVAILABLE AS AN E-BOOK

TOP 10 DANGEROUS AND EVIL HENCHMEN

A LOOK AT FILM’S CREEPIEST COMPUTERS

31 THINGS WE LEARNED FROM THE ‘BEVERLY HILLS COP’ COMMENTARY

ESSAY: WHEN THE BAD GUYS ARE THE GOOD GUYS

‘HARRY POTTER’ ATTRACTION COMING TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS HOLLYWOOD

25 THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT ‘THE PRINCE AND THE SHOWGIRL

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CLASSIC PICK FOR SATURDAY, DECEMBER 3

7:30 AM EST: Five Came Back (1939) — Survivors of a jungle plane crash realize that their repaired airplane can only carry five passengers. Dir: John Farrow Cast: Chester Morris, Lucille Ball, Wendy Barrie. BW-75 mins, TV-PG, CC.

In yesterday’s Call Sheet, purely by coincidence, I mentioned Lucille Ball’s performance in this as a top example of a comedian taking on a dramatic role. This is not only your chance to see what I meant but also a very underrated (and tense) film directed by a very underrated directed, John Farrow.

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-Please send tips/suggestions/requests/complaints to jnolte@breitbart.com

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