Nolte: Wealthy, Famous Actress Priyanka Chopra Claims Trauma from ‘Simpsons’ Apu Character

Super-wealthy, world-famous actress Priyanka Chopra wants everyone to know how traumatized she was by Apu, a character on The Simpsons animated sitcom.

In an interview with British Vogue (4:30 mark), the 41-year-old explained her trauma:

To be on The Simpsons in my wedding dress was really funny and ironic, considering Apu was the bane of my life when I was growing up. Everybody kept asking me why I didn’t speak like Apu, why my accent wasn’t like Apu? – Apu had a really exaggerated Indian accent, as we all know now. This was really bittersweet and funny because obviously, The Simpsons are an iconic part of most of our childhood, but it was also the irony of me in an Indian dress marrying a white guy.

Let’s start with the obvious… Does anyone believe this? Come on. Does anyone honestly believe that so many people asked this narcissist why she didn’t speak like a cartoon character that it became the “bane” of her “life?”

I’m Irish. No one has ever asked me why I don’t speak like the Lucky Charms guy.

My wife is Mexican and was born in Mexico; no one ever asks her why she doesn’t talk like Speedy Gonzalez.

We’re both Southerners now, but no one’s ever asked us why we don’t talk like Foghorn Leghorn.

In all of my 57 years, I’ve never wondered why someone from Out West doesn’t talk like Yosemite Sam.

Sue me, cupcake, but I think you’re lying…lying to gain those sweet, sweet victim points.

Priyanka Chopra has been a worldwide superstar for 20 years; she’s won so many awards, Wikipedia had to create a separate page to list them, and she obviously won the genetic lottery, but here we go again… One of the most privileged people in world history is so eager to grab hold of those sweet, sweet victim points; she has to make up some fantasy about “everybody” asking her why she doesn’t talk like a cartoon character.

Imagine living a life so blessed that the exaggerated but affectionate voice of a cartoon character (and almost all comedy cartoon characters are exaggerated) was the “bane of [your] life when growing up.”

How many mattresses does this princess need to ensure the pea doesn’t bruise her?

These people—and by “these people” I mean celebrities—are really something else. They have everything, and still, they feel the need to pose as the persecuted and put upon.

I guess they don’t teach you class or gratitude in celebrity schools.

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