Nolte: Disney’s ‘Indiana Jones 5’ Bombs over Long Fourth of July Weekend

Indiana Jones
Disney/Lucasfilm

The Disney Grooming Syndicate’s Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny failed to hit its lowball Fourth of July five-day weekend forecast.

This movie is bombing so badly that even the Disney suck-ups at Deadline are using the word “bomb.”

The lowball three-day projection for Dial of Destiny was $60 million. It barely hit $60 million.

The lowball five-day projection through the Fourth of July was $85 million. It hit $82 million.

The international box office is unlikely to save this bomb. By Monday morning, Dial of Destiny had grossed a pathetic $70 million at the foreign box office.

There is no way to spin this as anything other than yet another failure from the sex-obsessed fetishists who run Disney, especially serial failure Kathleen Kennedy, who has now wiped the once-storied Lucasfilm out entirely.

Yes, within the context of its overall cost, somewhere north of $400 million to produce and promote, Disney has a historical flop on its child-abusing hands. The fifth and final (we hope) chapter in the Indiana Jones saga will have to gross somewhere between $800 and $900 million just to break even. This dud will be lucky to clear $500 million.

Yes, within the context of its 2008 predecessor, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Suck, Disney has an astonishing flop on its inappropriate-kiddie-loving hands. Domestically, 15 years ago, Crystal Suck opened to $100 million over three days and $150 million over five days. Accounting for inflation, Crystal Suck opened to $141 million over three days and $212 million over five days. Crystal Suck went on to gross $317 million domestically and $790 million worldwide. Accounting for inflation, Crystal Suck made $417 million domestically and $1.15 billion worldwide.

Dial of Dud will be lucky to do half those numbers.

Forget all of that.

Forget the context. Forget the past. Forget the costs. Focus instead on this…

An Indiana Jones movie starring Harrison Ford was released over the Fourth of July weekend and … it bombed.

It’s the season of I never thought I would see… 

I never thought I would see men competing with women in women’s sports.

I never thought I would see naked men exposing themselves to small children in public and Democrats writing it off as teaching tolerance.

I never thought I would see the Democrat party openly embrace child mutilation.

I never thought I would see the Turner Classic Movies and the Criterion Channel censor an Oscar-winning classic.

I never thought I would see the Walt Disney Company target small children for grooming and abuse by sexualizing absolutely everything, including cartoons.

I never thought I would see Target do business with Satanists eager to groom toddlers.

And…

I never thought I would see an Indiana Jones movie bomb at any time, much less over a Fourth of July weekend.

Indiana Jones and America go together like the Captain and Tennille, the Love Boat and Fantasy Island, Quintin Tarantino and bare feet.

An Indiana Jones movie flopped over the Fourth of July… Look at all the events that had to happen to make that impossibility possible. First, Disney had to destroy the Star Wars franchise. Then Disney had to destroy the Willow franchise. Then Disney had to come out of the closet as child groomers. Then Disney had to become stridently woke and off-putting. Then Disney had to hire the sexless Phoebe Waller-Not-Cates to co-star. Then Disney had to spread rumors that Ms. Not-Cates would become the next Indiana Jones. Then Disney had to put out a series of terrible trailers and release this dreadfully lifeless, over-CGI’d scene. Then the movie had to stink so badly that even left-wing critics complained about how Dial of Destiny emasculates Indiana Jones.

It’s a perfect storm of creative and publicity screw-ups that could only come from a broken and amoral corporation obsessed with sex and identity politics instead of creativity and showing moviegoers a good time.

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