Nolte: Another Woke Franchise Dies Prematurely — ‘Fantastic Beasts’

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Warner Bros.

The Fantastic Beasts franchise was supposed to run for five films. After only three, it has been “parked.”

Parked, lol.

When you park something, you STOP, SHUT IT OFF, and WALK AWAY, correct?

“With Beasts, it’s all just parked,” Fantastic Beasts director David Yates said in a recent interview.  “We made those three movies, the last one through a pandemic, and it was enormous fun but it was tough.”

“We’re all so proud of [the third and last one: Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore], he added, “and when it went out into the world, we just needed to sort of stop and pause and take it easy.”

Here’s my favorite part of Yates’s shameless line of blathering BS…

“The idea that there were going to be five films was a surprise to most of us. Jo just mentioned it spontaneously, at a press screening once. No one had told us there were going to be five, we’d committed to the first one… I’m sure at some point, we’ll be back.”

Five? Nobody told me there would be five. Why-why-why, this franchise isn’t a failure! We just got tired of filming during the COVID, see? It was a tough shoot, see? And now we need to sort of stop and pause, see? Five? Who said five? No one told me five? We’re a success, see? A big, roaring success, see? And it was Jo who stole the strawberries, Jo, I tell you. Jo!

Yates directed all three of these, and everyone, including Yates, screwed the woke pooch over and over and over…

First, they went full McCarthy against star Johnny Depp based on what a civil court would eventually prove was a phony allegation. Shame on those cowards forever.

Second, Fantastic Beasts is a children’s franchise, and the most recent chapter, The Secrets of Dumbledore, opened with “two grown gay men discussing how much in love they once were with one another.” I’m talking about two of the main characters coming out as homosexual in a kids’ movie.

Result?

Box office catastrophe….

With a $200 million production budget and what had to be a $100 million promotion budget, this woke sack of garbage grossed just $407 million worldwide and cost Warner Bros a fortune.

That $407 million faceplant is a quarter of a billion — with a “B” — dollars less than the previous chapter, 2018’s Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, which grossed $655 million worldwide.

The first chapter, 2016’s Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, more than doubled the gay Dumbledore chapter with an $816 million worldwide gross.

Woke killed what was once the golden geese of all golden geese: the Harry Potter franchise.

Can you imagine taking your child to a freaken Harry Potter movie only to have it open with two grown men talking about how much they once loved one another?

Watching groomers bomb puts a song in my heart and a smile on my face.

The Woke Gestapo have now killed the following golden geese: Harry Potter, Star Trek, Star Wars, Terminator, Indiana Jones, Resident Evil, Charlie’s Angels, Men in Black, Marvel, Pixar, Willow

Oh, man, you’d have to possess a heart made of granite not to enjoy watching all this woke failure.

John Nolte’s debut novel Borrowed Time (Bombardier Books) is available today. You can read an exclusive excerpt here and a review of the novel here.  

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