Nolte: Imagine the Joy of Sleeping with a Gun Under a David Hogg Pillow

Student activist and shooting survivor David Hogg and other students in the parking lot of
Hoo-Me.com / MediaPunch /IPX via AP

David Hogg, the 19-year-old gun-grabbing fascist who makes the Hitler Youth look like the Marx Brothers, is so angry that My Pillow creator Mike Lindell has his own opinions on things, he’s harrumphing about starting his own pillow company.

Of course, this pillow company, which he is imaginatively calling Pillow Company, will almost certainly never happen. Nevertheless, because America’s corporate media have become open, shameless, and cowering cheerleaders for Woke Nazis, far-left outlets like Axios are taking his crybaby tweets seriously.

So now, Hogg has been kind of cornered into taking the idea seriously, and he’s announced — lol — the launch of the “Pillow Company’s Activist Advisory Board,” and just this morning, Hogg added someone named Brandon Wolf to his Pillow Company Board because “Brandon has years of experience in organizing for gun violence prevention, LGBTQ rights and he’s also just an awesome person.”

Well, that’s just what America is craving: a pillow backed by experience in “organizing for gun violence prevention” and Alphabet People rights.

Hmmm… What kind of pillow comes from those opposed to civil rights, but in favor of hairy guys with psychological problems sharing a locker room with your daughter? Do we really want to buy a pillow from people whose primary goal in life is to make us unsafe and uncomfortable?

Hogg’s already made numerous promises about Pillow Company. This is my favorite…

…because if there’s anything David Hogg is known for, it’s his sense of humor.

And here’s what a Harvard education buys you…

Did Harvard teach Hogg that spite is a good reason to launch a company? Maybe Der Fuhrer Jr. should watch the latest season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. That particular spite store did not end well. But even Larry’s spite store was based on a better idea. Mocha Joe’s had wobbly tables, cold coffee, and soft scones that were really muffins. What Larry wanted was to offer better coffee served hot, better service, and scones that were scones… Hogg’s not upset over the quality of My Pillow; Hogg’s mad that Lindell won’t profess his fealty to the Woke Plantation.

The following is not a commercial for Mike Lindell or My Pillow. I don’t know the guy and have never spoke to or so much as traded a tweet with him, but My Pillow is a true rarity in America… Something that works exactly as advertised. I freakin’ love my My Pillow. I love that My Pillow so much I would buy it even if it were manufactured by something truly evil, like a teachers’ union.

One reason to buy a David Hogg pillow would be so you could sleep with a loaded gun under it. I always have the best dreams when I chuckle just before sleep… They usually start with Angie Dickinson and end with me burning tires in Al Gore’s backyard as Jane Fonda sings “God Bless America.”

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.

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