Each day I spend in the USA further persuades me that I am, in fact, an American trapped in the perfectly-sculpted, demigod-like body of a Graeco-German new media phenomenon currently taking over the world thanks to my signature brand of sass, wit, good looks, killer hatefacts and trademark humility.
Make no mistake — I have always felt blessed that I was raised in England. But spending an extended time in this country has opened my eyes to what makes America truly wonderful. For all its minor faults, America is still the land of optimism and opportunity.
In my earlier trips to America, I felt the country lacked historical perspective. Walking around Washington DC through buildings a mere hundred years old does not compare to the great architectural triumphs of Europe, in whose halls thousands of years of history reverberate.
I used to look down my nose at America as a result. But I now understand what Margaret Thatcher meant when she said: “Europe was created by history. America was created by philosophy.” Europe’s spectacularly bloody history has sometimes caused it to act against its own best interests, both as a continent and as individual nation states.
Look at the current fashion for rampant, uncontrolled immigration, driven by Germans still encumbered with national guilt from the Second World War. In seeking to uphold principle and avoid the mistakes of the past, Germany’s rulers have irrevocably damaged that once-great nation.
England and America have been close allies for almost 200 years. Yes, the United States was forged in conflict with England, but early Americans proved their mettle and determination, and the British quickly recognised America as an independent country, with a shared culture and history.
There was also, of course, that minor skirmish 1812, during which British forces burned down Washington. But let’s be honest: most Americans today probably harbour similar desires.
Another great English leader, Sir Winston Churchill, once said: “You can always count on Americans to do the right thing — after they’ve tried everything else.” He spoke in jest, but his words deserve consideration.
The American spirit is defined by experimentation, independence, and above all, never quitting. I see it in my mischievous and enthusiastic new American fanbase, in the veterans and active service personnel I meet regularly, and in my colleagues at Breitbart. I think this aspect of the country is what has made Donald Trump so popular with Americans of all stripes.
President Obama infamously returned the White House bust of Churchill to the United Kingdom almost immediately upon taking office. I think America would be wise to heed Churchill’s words and do the right thing, especially now that they’ve tasted the sour flavour of Obama and globalism. Whoever the next President is, they should ask for the bust back.
America’s greatest advantage is that patriots are everywhere. I run into them in the least expected places. Just yesterday, I was having lunch in a delightful bistro in Beverly Hills only to discover that one of our servers, probably the only straight guy in the establishment, is a proud veteran whose favorite holiday is the Fourth of July.
He told my table about his American flag tattoos and how he’d celebrate the holiday in his native Arkansas. Some of you think I am a snob, but don’t be fooled by the Louis Vuitton and the expensive champagne. That’s just to amuse Twitter, and to attract hot gold-diggers. At heart, I am a man of the people, and that veteran in Beverly Hills made my day.
Anyone who travels around this country with open eyes can recognize the unique greatness of America. As a lifelong believer in English exceptionalism, I now accept the concept of American exceptionalism too, which is as obvious to me as how handsome I look in profile.
The political battle in 2016 is between those who believe America is great and can be much greater once again, and those that believe America is a force for evil that must be apologised for, torn apart and rebuilt. Between the whiny, unsatisfiable and dishonest establishment feminism of Hillary Clinton and the bold optimism and resolve of Donald Trump.
Daddy Trump’s embracing of the American spirit is what has attracted so many independents and moderate Democrats to his cause. He is making it okay for Americans to say “we are the best” in public without being made to feel bigoted or worse.
And he is reminding America that there is nothing racist or wrong about having strong borders, strong defence and a trade policy that works for everyone, not just the immigrants the Democrats ship in to vote for them, or the super-rich.
Because I wasn’t born here, I can never be President. But almost anyone birthed on these shores could, in theory, rise to the highest office in the land. That is not true of any other country in the world. (PS — Donald, pretty sure I can still be Press Secretary!)
And although I find the creeping sharia on Twitter and Facebook’s platforms and the hostility to free speech in your universities occasionally dispiriting, I am emboldened and excited by the punk conservative and libertarian revolution I see brewing among the public and on campuses.
Make no mistake, America: you are the best. No other country is prepared to defend the freedoms that have given so much of the world its prosperity and which have raised entire continents up out of penury. No other country has done as much for women and minorities. And, from the perspective of an outsider, no other country has my back like you guys do.
The principles upon which America was founded have made it the freest and fairest country in the world. Capitalism, freedom of speech, property rights and Enlightenment values have given women, blacks, gays and everyone else equal representation and access to this country’s great institutions and marketplaces.
And although the loony Left I spend so much of my time ridiculing hates precisely the freedom that has afforded those minorities power, I am confident that America will see through the divisiveness, hypocrisy, dishonesty and self-serving bullying of the social justice tendency, whether it be feminists or Black Lives Matter, and reaffirm its commitment to that most sacred freedom: the freedom to be, do, read, write and say whatsoever you please.
And the second-most important freedom, of course — your right to defend your family, your home and your country against tyrannies home-grown or otherwise with a gigantic fucking cannon if you so choose.
Now, more than ever before, it’s important for America to galvanise and defend its reputation as a shining beacon of freedom and greatness. Europe is facing a great fight against Islamisation, one which it brought upon itself and from which there may be no recovery.
If there are to be migrants welcomed at America’s airports and harbours, let them be freedom-loving Europeans, not jihadi-sympathising refugees and ISIS terrorists.
In Churchill’s greatest speech, known colloquially as “We Shall Fight on the Beaches,” the great man said: “We shall never surrender, and if, which I do not for a moment believe, this island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God’s good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.”
His words are just as applicable to today’s situation as they were to the Nazi menace to England in 1940. England, and the world, needs America to be the strongest superpower to stand fast against the many enemies of freedom, prosperity, liberty and justice.
Despite the joyous patriotism evident throughout America, it’s a quirky constant of the American national character that you sometimes require foreigners to remind you how awesome your country is, and how lucky you are to live here and to be a citizen of the greatest country in the history of human civilisation.
It started with Alexis de Tocqueville in 1835. It continues today with me. If you find that depressing, at least remind yourselves that you have an erudite, hilarious and photogenic Englishman this time, instead of a Frenchman. Happy Fourth of July.