Wednesday afternoon NASCAR driver Bubba Wallace released a statement obviously meant to walk back his disastrous CNN appearance from the previous night.
As I’m sure you all know by now, there is so little racism in America that 15 FBI agents — 15! — were rushed out to Alabama to investigate the report of a noose placed in Wallace’s garage. Wallace is black.
And, of course, just like the previous eight noose hoaxes, this was quickly debunked as number nine.
Here’s what really happened…
Sometime in 2019, at the end of a rope used to pull down a garage door, someone tied a loop. What’s more, Wallace was assigned that garage randomly for a single race.
Yep, the whole thing was hysterical and beyond absurd from the beginning, and after the 15 FBI agents — 15! — debunked the hoax, Wallace only made things worse on Tuesday night during an appearance on CNNLOL where he insisted he was still damaged by the incident because “It was a noose!”
This was one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever seen. We live in a country where the left is so morally warped, a black man was disappointed he was not the victim of racial terrorism, and he was so eager to perpetuate the fable he’s a victim of racism, he humiliated himself declaring — after the FBI said there was no crime — he had been emotionally damaged and traumatized by a loop tied at the end of a garage pull.
Up until that point, Wallace hadn’t done anything wrong. From what I understand, it was those around him who overreacted and called the FBI. But his appearance on CNN exposed Wallace as the craven, shallow, narcissistic, and divisive opportunist he undoubtedly is.
Well, this whole incident — the ludicrous overreaction to what was obviously not a noose combined with Wallace’s determination to frame America and NASCAR as racist over a garage pull — has probably done more damage to NASCAR and Wallace, has probably cost them infinitely more fans than they had hoped to gain by turning Wallace into NASCAR’s Colin Kaepernick — which makes no sense when you look at how Kaepernick’s crybabying damaged NFL ratings and attendance.
The blowback against Wallace’s CNNLOL appearance was swift, severe, and deserved.
Wallace and NASCAR appear to have finally figured that out, which is probably why he released a statement Wednesday that, at long last, says what he should have said to begin with:
— Bubba Wallace (@BubbaWallace) June 24, 2020
It’s been an emotional few days. First off, I want to say how relieved I am that the investigation revealed that this wasn’t what we feared it was. I want to thank my team, NASCAR, and the FBI for acting swiftly and treating this as a real threat.
If I may interject… If a loop tied at the end of a garage pull is perceived as a “real threat,” I think we can safely declare that the racism problem in America is pretty well solved…
I think we’ll gladly take the embarrassment over what the alternatives could have been. Make no mistake, though some will try, this should not detract from the show unity we had on Monday, and the progress we’ve made as a sport to be a more welcoming environment for all.
Right, because nothing conveys a warm, inclusive, and welcoming environment more than an organization that’s so neurotic and paranoid, so full of self-loathing and self-righteousness, that they call the FBI to investigate a garage pull…
Oh, yeah, I feel real safe and comfy among people so desperate to signal their own virtue, they will scramble a team of G-Men to track down the perpetrator behind a slipknot.
What’s so unfortunate about this is Bubba Wallace had a real opportunity to be a uniter, to be a healer, to be a unifier, to be a voice for decency and grace in this hysterical and unforgiving era of the Woke Taliban…
Can you imagine the good Wallace would have done our country, NASCAR, and himself had he appeared on CNN and said something like…
I’m embarrassed and relieved. Listen, we totally overreacted. That’s on me. And in this overheated environment, I’m going to take this as a lesson, and I hope others who are triggered to assume the worst, do the same. I work with the best people. I have the best fans, and I owe them all an apology for assuming any one of them would ever do something like that. The accusation of racism is a serious one, and I not only didn’t give NASCAR the benefit of the doubt and my friends the benefit of the doubt, and Americans the benefit of the doubt, I — well, I’m embarrassed and I apologize. This will never happen again.
Instead he exposed himself as a man-baby, a jackass, a thin-skinned divider, a witch hunter desperate to throw gasoline on a fake news fire…
Yeah, I’m glad he released this new statement, but still… Shame on him.