Terrorists and Tyrants Go Straight to Hell by Gary Graham 19 Jun 2009 post a comment Share This: At the risk of earning my place in The Masters of the Obvious Hall of Fame... I gotta say it. They're not ‘freedom fighters', they're not ‘brave Jihad warriors', they're not ‘overseas contingency operators'...they're terrorists. And they're evil. True, they are going to ‘meet their destiny' but it's not going to be what they think. There are going to be some very disappointed souls who come to find that everything they believed in, indeed, so strongly that they sacrificed their short, pathetic, deluded lives for...was a total lie. They have an appointment with eternity waiting for them, but there won't be 72 virgins for them to defile forever. Or even for an hour and a half. Nah, none of that. Ain't gonna happen. (And as Dennis Miller once said, "Hey, 72 virgins? I can see it for a while, but after seven or eight of them...I'm gonna want to call in a pro.") Nope. Not saying I've consulted the Creator, but...I have it on good authority that that virgin-in-paradise thingie is just a cheap, bucket-o-baloney BS recruiting tool. Psych! So all you would-be jihadist bombers with a hard-on to plant the IED's that are designed to kill our brave servicemen... hey, find something else to do with your hard-on, Sparky, instead of waiting to use it on those 72 clueless virtual babettes. If you're that lonely and pathetic and worthless, hop on the ubiquitous 25-hour Internet porn sites, take tool in hand, and work out three minutes of your destiny right there in the privacy of your mud hovel. Keep the explosives at home! Your imagined glory doesn't give a sh*t about you and you blowing up an American G.I. won't keep you from an eternity of teeth gnashing and anal herpes, so get your head out of your poo-hole, and go get a real job - like maybe something that helps people instead of kills them. Just a thought. But talk about irony -- how's that for a sad, sick joke? These devoted extremists, buying the whole jihad warrior myth hook, line and stinker; keeping themselves religiously devout and chaste...waiting for the ultimate reward for their heroic, murderous acts of carnage...and they don't go to heaven at all. They go straight to hell! It's almost funny. Or at least it would be, if it weren't so terribly sad. A small, extremist segment of one of the world's largest religion locked into a horribly illogical, obstinate and cruel horror of futility. All based upon a lie. That their ‘god' compels them to either convert the world to Islam...or if that doesn't work, blow everything up. That they are committed to an eternal jihad to kill any who won't accept and adopt their strict religious doctrine -- man, woman or child. That they are in fact rewarded by murdering those innocents with an eternal bliss of paradise and fornicating with virgins. And they call us the Great Satan. Okay...let me back up. With all due (and undue) respect...and I know that is a broad disclaimer, but I don't know how else to couch it. I'm speaking now to only violence-prone, extremist Islamofascist Muslims. I can understand that your feelings were hurt five thousand years ago when the Jews started jumping around declaring that God said that they were the ‘chosen people'. I understand you may have felt a bit...what, slighted? I know I would have. "What do you mean you guys are the ‘chosen ones'? Chosen by whom? God!? You kiddin' me? Oh, yeah, and what - we're chopped liver?? What kind of sh*t is that??" But have you considered..."chosen...for what, exactly?" If you look at their history, it becomes clear that they haven't always been chosen for good things. There was that slavery thing in Egypt. That worked out all right, eventually. Moses rocked. And the Promised Land was cool. But what about that exile into Babylon? That could not have been pleasant. Then the struggle with the Romans? There was no United Nations to complain to. And the ACLU could get no traction, though I'm sure they tried. And then, bummer of bummers, Jesus comes into popularity...gives the Jewish leaders a bunch of lip...rampages through the temple like Axel Rose trashing the penthouse suite at the Hollywood Hyatt...and the Jews get the rap for the death of Christ! And everybody who was there said it was the Romans who killed him! (If only we had a Zapruder film back then, we could put that controversy to rest, huh?) Then...the prosecution in Russia...the pogroms...and finally...Europe under Nazi rule. The Final Solution. So...you have to ask yourself... They're the Chosen People...but chosen for what? Still...to be ‘chosen' is to be special. So, by extrapolation, to not be chosen...is to not be special. That's gotta sting. Well... I feel your pain. It's got to be a wee bit aggravating to develop your culture side by side with a whole race that touts at every turn its own unique favor with the deity. An exclusive club, a gold-key membership and back stage pass to the All-Mighty. The Jews as Rock Stars. And that other offshoot from Abraham...the Muslim root? "Uh...sorry, guys, you can be the roadies. Grab those Marshall cabinets, will ya, pal? We gotta get going with the sound check." I don't know. Maybe if that Cain dude hadn't killed his brother Abel, things might have turned out differently? I'm a Christian, I'm not one of the ‘chosen people' either. You don't see me tearing my clothes, ripping out my hair or swinging my scimitar at the closest synagogue. I'm easy, I say, "Hey, they're the Chosen People? Good on them, I hope it works out." But listen, Ahmed - and I say this with patience, tolerance, and respect. It's been five thousand years...so I suggest that each of you who are still smoldering with this multi-generational hatred for all things Jewish...sit down now and pour yourself a nice hot cup of Lighten-the-F*#k-Up. Time to let it go. I'm reminded of that TV show a few years back, "Ally McBeal". Gregg Grumann played a lawyer they called, ‘Fish'. Fish had the amazing proclivity for screwing over everyone he came in contact with; effortlessly, sometimes unwittingly, but screwing them over nonetheless, just as a matter of course. Upon discovering any of his innumerable offenses, he would instantly relieve himself of blame, responsibility and penalty with a simple, tossed-away word: "Bygones!" (As in, ‘Let bygones be bygones'.) (As in Yo! Fahgettaboudit!) Abdul... Ahmed... Sal-hakim Ib bin Sal-har Alimi-Omar... all together now: "Bygones!" Yes, there have been thousands of years of war. Yes, there were plenty of atrocities perpetrated in the name of "God-wills-it" over the millennia. And as a Christian infidel, I'll cop to some various offenses those Crusade fellows may have been involved in as they were busy ‘evangelizing' the Muslim world, Bible in one hand, sword in the other. (That Richard the Lionheart was reportedly a real irascible sort, and not much prone to mediated negotiation.) But you tyrants and extremists under the star and crescent (peace-loving Muslims I have no quarrel with... although, in light of your religion having been somewhat hijacked by a vocal and violent extremist minority, you do yourselves and the world a great disservice in not speaking up against Wahhabbi extremism -- and your silence is deafening!")... it's you guys who have been doing the lion's share of unprovoked bloodletting in recent memory. If you guys were truly interested in peace you would acknowledge at least Israel's right to exist. You wouldn't have turned down Ehud Barak's numerous peace proposals and concessions to Arafat. You wouldn't have stoked the so-called Lebanese civil war (if unprovoked slaughter of untold Lebanese Christians can be called civil war). And if you were truly a people of peace...you would devote yourselves and your culture to building up you society and your people. You would engage in enterprises that develop technology and help to feed your people and provide a better, more peaceful existence. You would work in harmony with your Jewish neighbors, exchanging products, services and ideas for furthering the happy, peaceful progress you espouse openly in English to the western press; and then just as quickly, deny and disparage in your own language to your own people. Like..."Now that we're alone, and have fooled those suckers, now I can tell you what we really are all about." (Little things like...driving Israel into the Mediterranean.) When you tell us you're all about peace....is it any wonder we don't believe you? As of this writing there is a great tremor shaking earth. The winds of revolution are stirring in Tehran, following claims of a fraudulent election that would restore the crazed despot Ahmadinejad to another oppressive term. The people of Iran are filling the streets, rising up for freedom. They are out in force, risking their lives, opposing the tyrant. We Americans, we who love liberty, are being stirred to our core in empathy and encouragement. We cheer from the sideline, much as when we see film of a baby seal swimming desperately for its life, trying to escape the jaws of a killer whale. We urge him on, and against overwhelming odds, the tiny seal somehow escapes to freedom...and life. We are stirred by the scenes in Iran because we remember our own impossible beginnings. Going up against the power and might of the British Empire, the one lone superpower of its day. With so much allied against us, the birth of our Republic should never have happened. And yet it did. The human will, that sacrosanct human drive, the will to be free...overcame all the threat, fear, danger... and sacrifice. These are pivotal, indeed, critical times for our nation and for our world. To what extent will we support that drive for freedom, in Iran, and in other sections of the world? And, in light of recent movements by the Obama administration and Congress to the contrary...to what extent will we support the drive for liberty in our own nation? With the seemingly endless abundance of practiced and prodigious bullsh*t hurled about in the media, some from the commentators, some from our leaders -- we often lose sight of certain self-evident truths, not the least of which is this: there is right...and there is wrong. The line in the sand has been drawn. It was drawn while we were downloading from Itunes, it was drawn while bugs were eaten raw on SURVIROR, it was drawn while the Lakers were surmounting their drive for the championship. And despite great pop-cultural obfuscation to the contrary, the line is quite clear. Right, wrong. Good, evil. No one any longer has the luxury of sitting back and letting ‘those others' make the decisions, call the shots, and determine what sort of world we are to live in. To make no decision is to make a decision; to the detriment of society. You are on one side...or you're on the other. And ignorance, in the day years ago of crude technology and limited information sources, may have been an excuse. But no more. The information age is upon us, and to abdicate to laziness or outright arrogant refusal to self-educate, is to join the legions who foment darkness and encourage intellectual and spiritual bondage. So which side are you on? Are you on the side of the Oppressors? On the side of those who would control you, regulate you, tax you, fine you, imprison you, or kill you if you don't adhere to their philosophy of life or rules of religion? Or are you on the side of the Freemen? On the side of free individuals engaged in liberty and the free pursuit of happiness, unfettered by excessive government restriction, and guided by a code of honor and responsibility and devotion to goodness, strength, love and liberty? The time for sitting on the sidelines has passed - for all of us. That tapping you feel right now, deep inside... It is the urgings of your soul. That tapping shall soon be a great pounding drum beat. It is the universal urging to be free, of which every human being is born. To deny it is to submit to enslavement. To answer it is to stand up and take your rightful place among a free people of destiny. Terrorists and tyrants can have hell - they earned it. Let those of us who cherish freedom and honor life stand now here, on this earth, and fight for freedom. And let us fight as though our future, our families, our very lives depended on it. Because, friend...it surely does.