Ernie Mannix

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New Novel Depicts Hollywood as the Real Sin City

New Novel Depicts Hollywood as the Real Sin City

What would you do if one day you were chosen to help clean up a dirty town, a town infamous for destroying souls and robbing countless young dreamers of their better years? I’m talking about Hollywood, California and this is

The Ghost Of Ronald Reagan

“Let’s take a break fellas, I am sick of being in damage control mode. I gotta kick it for a few minutes” President Obama complained . “Okay everyone, let’s leave the President alone for a bit of a rest” announces

Barack Obama: The Movie

“We’re here today, Mr. President, about the project that is due our studio, …on your contract,” the man with rectangular blue Goutier glasses crisply announces to the gathered party of the President and his people. He adds, “I assume Mr.

Bill Calls Hillary

(Ringggggggggggggg.) Todd, the assistant to the assistant of Ms. Clinton: Mrs. Clinton? Mr. Clinton is on the phone for you. Hillary: That’s MS. Clinton. Give me that phone. Hello…? Bill: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA BWAAA HAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHA!

Your Assignment: Name Obama's Hot Sauce

Dateline: Future, most likely August 2012 Having been quite successful at my previous naming assignment for the Obama administration, I was encouraged to assist with another project for the folks at the White House. After being bored sitting on my

My 4th of July Hero: Helen Thomas

I have been more or less one of the resident class-clowns here at BH. Having been been so appalled at the bizarre news coming out of Washington on a daily basis, I’ve been unable to write anything, that isn’t from

The Ghost of Johnny Carson

David Letterman was just rising – earlier than you might think for a guy who’s show is on late enough for college partiers and “freelancers” to enjoy without fear of feeling tired the next day. You’d think that only if

Inside the Head of Nancy Pelosi

Gourmet cheese… Adolpho the world’s most expensive hair stylist… Lake Como… Van Cleef & Arpels… Tiffany… WATER-BLAH BLAH BLAH…. Armani… Cole-Haan… Private Jets with mahogany paneling… WATER-BOOP-BOOP-BOOP…. Little Doggie sweaters… delicious, though insanely-overpriced-for-being-grown-locally California fruit… Chanel… The Galapagos Islands… AL

Recently Discovered: More Nostradamus Premonitions

My research at the La Brea tar pits has uncovered even more Nostradamus Quatrains that just may, (I repeat in the name of truth and science); may pertain to our current national situation. My humble opinion as to what the

The Ghost of Abraham Lincoln

Gently walking through the hallway, the angular man traded his curiosity about his peculiar situation, (that of being back in his old home), for purpose. The purpose was containment of a problem. The problem was that of a young president

White House Interoffice Memo:

FROM: POTUS TO: All White House Staff, Ms. O.W., Rev. W., Mr. W.A. CC: MSNBC, NBC, CNBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, NPR, COMEDY CENTRAL. RULE #1: Beginning this Friday, we are eliminating all references to, either verbally or physically; the notion

Terrorism = Man Made Disaster? Let's try some others:

(Let’s all dig the new lingo.) Murderer = Overpopulation assistant Criminal = Alternative life economist Child abandonment = Remote Parenting Car-jacking = Automotive redistribution Abortion = Choice Appeasement of dangerous enemies = New dialogue Socialism = 2nd stimulus Enemy Combatants

Inside the Head of Keith Olbermann


New Nostradamus Predictions Found

Recently geocached and unearthed in a shoebox at Vasquez Rocks; these newly found quatrains of the great Nostradamus are presented here for the very first time: (I sure as hell believe it.) Quatrain IIVX The woman of the dome of

Inside the Head of Hillary Clinton

(THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE from thousands of people on the Washington Mall.) Announcer: “And now, ladies and gentlemen, the poet laureate; Maya Angelou.” (Applause from the masses and inauguration VIPs.) Maya Angelou: “The men on Mt. Rushmore will chatter, as they hear

I think:

Hugh Jackman pooped his pants. Those weren’t Goldie Hawn’s nipples, they were age spots. Jen gave Brad the finger during the clips. Phoenix, is now driving to the Oscars with a 45. I will finish the 6 pack.

Inside The Head Of President Obama

“Thank you members of the press. Nice to see you. I’ll have a short statement then I’ll be happy to take some questions….” Oh-oh- teleprompter went dead. Remain calm. Smile. Make eye contact. Why the hell are all the press

Inside The Head Of Al Gore

FLORIDA — FLORIDA — FLORIDA – FLORIDA FLORIDA FLORIDA… Wake up. Open eyes. Stare at the ceiling. Realize it’s getting warmer and the ice is melting little by little. Breathe in the aroma coming from the kitchen. Something’s yummy. The

24 Hours Apart – The Second Civil War

The peaceful transfer of power in this country was indeed thankfully just that. Unfortunately though, it has been anything but polite or even the slightest bit classy. The rapper horror, the boos, the nasty silent welcome of a President that

Bill Kristol vs. Matt Damon – The Debate Transcript

(Third installment in the not-so-unbelievable Upside Down Bizarre World series.) Dateline: Next Thursday. Announcer Voice Over: Live from New York City, it’s The Bill Kristol – Matt Damon Debate, and here’s your moderator for the evening: Greg Gutfeld. Greg Gutfeld:

2013 – The Year NASA Moves to the Bay Area.

The second installment in the not so unbelievable; “Upside Down-Bizarre World” series. Last month’s launch failure of the Vegan 7 from the Alcatraz launch facility was the latest of 16 straight disappointments for the United States space agency. Chief NASA