Ernie Mannix

A message from Hollywood – (Not the people who really work hard here like the drivers, grips, electricians, greensman, editors, carpenters, etc. – just us so very important ‘Stars’) – on what YOU the World – can do to save

SECTION 23. PART A: THE CINEMATIC IMMUNITY CLAUSE This contract’s previously mentioned HOLLYWOOD STAR, having surpassed all normal standards of importance, (and now seeking revenge for being a high school nerd); shall not be held responsible for any and all

“Let’s take a break fellas, I am sick of being in damage control mode. I gotta kick it for a few minutes” President Obama complained . “Okay everyone, let’s leave the President alone for a bit of a rest” announces

Amazing. Digging in the parking lot at Barney’s Beanery in West Hollywood, (please don’t judge my hobbies), I found another set of the quizzical quatrains that heretofore have never been seen. This Nostra dude had it going on… and on.

“We’re here today, Mr. President, about the project that is due our studio, …on your contract,” the man with rectangular blue Goutier glasses crisply announces to the gathered party of the President and his people. He adds, “I assume Mr.

(Ringggggggggggggg.) Todd, the assistant to the assistant of Ms. Clinton: Mrs. Clinton? Mr. Clinton is on the phone for you. Hillary: That’s MS. Clinton. Give me that phone. Hello…? Bill: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA BWAAA HAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHA!

Dateline: Future, most likely August 2012 Having been quite successful at my previous naming assignment for the Obama administration, I was encouraged to assist with another project for the folks at the White House. After being bored sitting on my

I have been more or less one of the resident class-clowns here at BH. Having been been so appalled at the bizarre news coming out of Washington on a daily basis, I’ve been unable to write anything, that isn’t from

David Letterman was just rising – earlier than you might think for a guy who’s show is on late enough for college partiers and “freelancers” to enjoy without fear of feeling tired the next day. You’d think that only if

Gourmet cheese… Adolpho the world’s most expensive hair stylist… Lake Como… Van Cleef & Arpels… Tiffany… WATER-BLAH BLAH BLAH…. Armani… Cole-Haan… Private Jets with mahogany paneling… WATER-BOOP-BOOP-BOOP…. Little Doggie sweaters… delicious, though insanely-overpriced-for-being-grown-locally California fruit… Chanel… The Galapagos Islands… AL

My research at the La Brea tar pits has uncovered even more Nostradamus Quatrains that just may, (I repeat in the name of truth and science); may pertain to our current national situation. My humble opinion as to what the

FROM : ALL US CONGRESS AND PRESIDENTS OF THE US TO: ALL THE PEOPLES OF THE EARTH AND THE AMERICA. CC: Madame Pelosis, Hary Reide, Sen. Frank, Not Bush. Mr. Gietner Taxes. Dear American Friend!, Oh the happytimes for us

Gently walking through the hallway, the angular man traded his curiosity about his peculiar situation, (that of being back in his old home), for purpose. The purpose was containment of a problem. The problem was that of a young president

FROM: POTUS TO: All White House Staff, Ms. O.W., Rev. W., Mr. W.A. CC: MSNBC, NBC, CNBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, NPR, COMEDY CENTRAL. RULE #1: Beginning this Friday, we are eliminating all references to, either verbally or physically; the notion

(Let’s all dig the new lingo.) Murderer = Overpopulation assistant Criminal = Alternative life economist Child abandonment = Remote Parenting Car-jacking = Automotive redistribution Abortion = Choice Appeasement of dangerous enemies = New dialogue Socialism = 2nd stimulus Enemy Combatants

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Recently geocached and unearthed in a shoebox at Vasquez Rocks; these newly found quatrains of the great Nostradamus are presented here for the very first time: (I sure as hell believe it.) Quatrain IIVX The woman of the dome of

1. Hides from Harry Reid in the White House’s old bowling alley. 2. Check his Blackberry’s GPS for Hillary’s location. 2a. Chooses the furthest country from Hillary’s present location and tells her to go there next. 3. Tells knee-slapping Biden

(THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE from thousands of people on the Washington Mall.) Announcer: “And now, ladies and gentlemen, the poet laureate; Maya Angelou.” (Applause from the masses and inauguration VIPs.) Maya Angelou: “The men on Mt. Rushmore will chatter, as they hear

Dow plummets again. All through the campaign Barack Obama told us not to listen to the “politics of fear.” These are the ways of the old guard, the naysayers, the negative ones – he said. Those who won’t sit and

Four to seven years ago, our fathers scored and brought forth on this continent, some new homes, conceived in stucco, and dedicated to the proposition that all men can get second mortgages. Now we are engaged in a great economic

Thanks for nothing Sean.