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PROOFED ED: Ferlinghetti Still Isn't the Only One Waiting

I am waiting for Media Matters

to condemn the President

for urinating on the Constitution

and I am waiting

for Bill Maher to make me laugh

and I am waiting

to meet someone

who has actually watched Hardball

and I am waiting

for Debbie Wasserman Schultz

to say something intelligent

and I am really waiting

for Dennis Miller

to appear on The View

and kick butt

I am waiting for Hollywood

to produce this generation’s version

of The Green Berets

and I am waiting

for Glenn Beck to escape captivity

and expose his double

and I am waiting

for Wolf Blitzer

to screw up one morning and shave

and I am waiting for George Soros

to endow the Pravda Chair

at the Columbia University School of Journalism

and I am really waiting

for Michelle Obama to announce

she’ll still love America

if Barack is not reelected



I am waiting for President Obama

to OK the Keystone Pipeline

on condition that it never carry oil

and I am waiting for “pork barrel”

to disappear from the lexicon

because it offends CAIR

and I am waiting

for the day

when humor is color blind

and I am waiting for John Roberts

to advise Elena Kagan

to do the right thing on the PPACA

and recuse

and I am really waiting

for Madonna to declare

she’s mad as hell

and she’s not gonna shake it any more

I am waiting for Hillary Clinton

to go back to Chappaqua

and have teas and bake cookies

and I am waiting for the DNC

to host a Republican debate

and I am waiting

for Government Motors

to admit the Volt

was not grounded in reality

and I am waiting for Michael Moore

to acknowledge

his Sumo wrestler son

and I am really waiting

for the Taliban

to permit us to leave Afghanistan

with dignity

I am waiting for Massachusetts

to create the Kennedy Memorial Senate Seat

and I am waiting for Maureen Dowd

to say something nice about somebody

and I am waiting

for a priest, a rabbi, and a mullah

to walk into a bar

and I am waiting for a doctor

to endorse Obamacare

and I am waiting

for Camp David

to become a retreat

for troubled community organizers

and I am really waiting

for Paul Ryan to step up

and save us

I am waiting for the AP

to characterize as scatological

Friday night document dumps

and I am waiting for the AARP

to quit woofing submissively

when Kathleen Sebelius says “Heel”

and I am waiting

for the President

to order his launch codes officer

to stop following him around

and I am waiting for Dan Rather

to wrap up his career

like a tortilla

at a street stand in Juarez

and I am waiting

for Harry Reid to introduce

a “Comparable Worth for First Ladies” bill

and I am really really waiting

for Democrats

to come to their senses

before they take us all off the cliff

Acknowledgement: “I Am Waiting” by Lawrence Ferlinghetti

from A Coney Island of the Mind (1958)

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