She has no real plan for catching terrorists; she’s just hoping to “discourage” them while spending vast sums of taxpayer dollars buying really expensive ElectroNudie scanners that embarrass regular travelers. But, Simon observes that, “as it turns out, the machines don’t detect explosives at all. They detect images on your body that shouldn’t belong on your body.” Beautiful.
Dissecting Candy Crowley’s interview of TSA Secretary Janet Napolitano on CNN’s Sunday show, Simon succinctly exposed Napolitano’s justification for the ElectroNudie-scanners’ shocking $300,000 million price tag:
One of the real successes of the machines and procedures, Napolitano said, is that they discourage terrorists from even trying to get on planes. In other words, the machines keep us safe even if they don’t work at all.
Which means, I guess, that I should breathlessly await Napolitano to soon release the official 2010 “Number of Terrorists Discouraged” statistics, akin to the Administration’s infamous “Number of Jobs Saved” contrivances. Of course, either set of numbers will be interchangeable with the University of East Anglia’s conjured global warming statistics.
Simon drew the inevitable conclusion from the ongoing TSA scan scam: “We do not need machines that cost upward of $130,000 each. All we need are archways made out of $30 or $40 worth of sheet metal that are labeled: ‘Official Destructo Machine — If You Are a Terrorist, This Machine Will Not Only Zap You, but Put a Picture of Your Private Parts on YouTube.'”
Yep, the machines DO work, except not quite the way advertised; rather, the scanners fulfill their unstated mission to intimidate, harass and delay lawabiding travelers and cripple the American airline industry.
Terrorists don’t need to show up at all. The TSA is already doing their job.