Team Oscar Praises Film, Women's Rights in Iran

In a recent interview in Iran with the Hollywood Reporter (THR), AMPAS President Sid Ganis and actress Annette Bening made the following comments on the state of Iranian film culture and women’s rights today.

First up, Mr. Ganis:

It is as buoyant as it is. They are making movies all the time, though they are not distributing them necessarily in Iran, but around Europe, Asia, and winning prizes all the time for it.

If by buoyant Mr. Ganis meant uplifting, I agree. Nothing’s more uplifting than a truck bomb. In fact, Martyrdom Productions, the Iranian Thugocracy’s film arm, recently landed a $500,000,000.00 defamation lawsuit from Anwar Sadat’s family for its killer thriller “Assassination Of A Pharaoh,” depicting the Hero Martyr Khalid Islambouli, who assassinated former Egyptian president Anwar Sadat in 1979 for the heinous crime of signing the Camp David Peace Accords with Israel in 1978.

The film also sent the rest of Egypt outside of Sadat’s immediate family into an apoplectic fury. Now THAT’S what I call Boffo Box Office! The Iranian government, which regulates who lives and who dies in Iran on top of everything else, denied complicity in the film.

However, Egyptian skepticism seems justified by the fact that the Iranian Thugocracy has named a street in Tehran after Mr. Islambouli. Second, the blockbuster Blood Carpet premiere of “Assassination of a Pharaoh” took place during Iran’s Thugocracy-sponsored “Committee for Commemoration of Martyrs of the Global Islamic Movement in Iran” film festival.

Hmm. Curious. Personally, I think the Egyptians have reasons to be skeptical.

As for distribution successes, we can’t leave out Iran’s ‘booming’ child martyrdom cartoon export industry, which has become a most profitable Processed Stooge Film Product by Iran’s Martyrdom Productions. The BBC summed all that up with the Joker-like title of their report: “Iran’s Booming Animation Industry.”

Shia clerics in their robes and turbans are depicted in a series for children about the lives of the martyrs of the Islamic revolution. The cartoon Martyr Bahonar, for example, tells the story of a future prime minister growing up as a little boy, studying the Koran and becoming a cleric before he is killed in a bomb blast after the Revolution.

There is also a film called Ashurian, which tells the story of the martyrdom of Imam Hussein, who is revered by Shia Muslims. Another cartoon, Children of al-Rashid, projects Iran’s view of the Palestinian struggle. It shows a fat Israeli military commander with an obsequious Arab informer talking about calling children in for questioning.

It gets better. Or worse, depending on your POV. A Google search of Iran TV children martyrdom cartoons returned 12,400 hits, if you’ll pardon the pun. They’re as common on Iran TV stations as SpongeBob is here. When they’re not playing US president-stabbing puppet shows, that is. Don’t worry, folks. The Bush puppet got his. Obama’s turn soon. See, to Iran’s Thugocracy, the Great Satan is just under new management. Kind of like Obama replacing Bush as Overlord of Hell.

Surprised? I’m not. They’ve been like this to us for thirty years! See, that’s what dictatorships like extremist Iran’s Thugocracy do. They externalize their own evils onto their enemies. Hitler did the same thing. Make us look so bad that they look good, no matter what they do. It’s like a dictatorial personality trait.

So, Mr. Ganis did sum it all up quite accurately. Iran’s blockbuster film industry is booming. Especially the kids’ stuff. However, you won’t find Tom and Jerry, Harry Potter, Chicken Run or “POTC: Dead Man’s Chest” on Iran TV. They’re all Ziono-Hollywoodist conspiracies, you see. But child martyrdom cartoons? Oscar Gold!

Now, moving on to Ms. Bening’s presser with THR, and her praise of women’s freedoms in Iran:

“They have a lot of female directors and a lot of documentary female directors.”

Ms. Bening is also correct. Here’s one female Iranian filmmaker and documentarian, Mehrnoushe Solouki, who was thrown into Evin prison for the unforgivable crime of stumbling upon a mass grave. Ms. Solouki’s experience in the medieval torture chamber called Evin prison, where American citizen Roxana Saberi is currently being held hostage by the Iranians, left her with nightmares.

Then we have Iranian woman and filmmaker Tahmineh Milani, who was sentenced to death for her celluloid slander against the Iranian Thugocracy. Sound familiar? Only extreme domestic and international pressure saved those women’s lives. Dictators, like Hollywood A-listers, hate bad PR. Spoils their image.

Yet female Iranian-American filmmaker Esha Momeni’s fate has yet to be decided. Her celluloid slander was to to interview women’s’ rights activists on the streets of Tehran for her master’s thesis. Which brings us back to the astute Ms. Bening:

Women are functioning on all levels.

If she means Evin prison has more than one level, for sure! Other women have functioned for only short periods of time at ground level. Many others, however, have risen up to the rank of Thugocracy-sponsored sex slaves. As they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, “We seek progress, not perfection.”

Ms. Bening sees progress. I see a very long way to perfection. Oh well. At least they’re not stoning the sex slaves for screwing around. I mean, if they did that every time they knocked boots with ’em, who would they have left for sex slaves? Even the Islamist Nazis of Iran can’t be THAT stupid!

Lastly, Ms. Bening wants to take ALL of the Iranian film stooges in the City of Screams to join ALL of Hollywood’s film stooges in the City of Dreams:

We want to facilitate all of the people in Iranian cinema coming to the US.

I suppose it would have been nice to have invited Hitler and Goebbels over for a tour of Disney, as well as tours of the “Wizard of Oz” and “Gone With The Wind” sets while still in production. Why not invite today’s film Nazis to DreamWorks and Pixar? Make those animated kids’ martyrdom cartoons really shine! They can even have Trey Parker and Matt Stone help with the prez-stabbing puppets!

How blackly ironic would THAT be?

No word as to whether Mr. Ganis or Ms. Bening expressed praise for Iran’s child executions, blogger murders, the ongoing Gay Holocaust or the colorful genocide parades in Tehran for Omar Bashir. Or if they’ve apologized for Hollywood’s celluloid slanders like “300” and “The Wrestler.”

I’m sure their PR reps will fill us in on all that when the Invisible Press lobs all their softballs at ’em. Speaking of which. To date, my bad PR insurgency against AMPAS over this abortion of a junket to today’s Third Reich has racked up over 3000 hits to date at Digital Journal! I’m also posting here at Breitbart’s Big Hollywood, as well.

I wonder if they’re feeling the heat, because the Team Oscar trip has completely disappeared off the map. Examples. The Google search Iran Bening Ganis only racked up 46 hits for the last week. The variants Iran “Team Oscar” racked up only 17 new hits for the past week, while Iran “Team Hollywood” has racked up only 4! This is HOLLYWOOD, people! PR capitol of the world!

And I’ve had to scour all this stuff for my OpEds on Team Oscar off the Middle East press! Team Oscar has disappeared from public existence even more than Roxana Saberi! All things considered, I’m glad I threw my screenwriting career away to go to war with AMPAS. Spending more than thirty seconds with any of those clueless stooges would have driven me completely batshite!

Hell, they’re doing that now from over 10,000 miles away! Sayin’ Goodbye To Hollywood.

And hello to Roxana Saberi. Never forget darling Roxana. She’s worth TEN Stooge Team Oscars!

Here’s the White House. Here’s the State Department. Here’s Congress.

Many kudos to NPR, ABC, the BBC and the CPJ for their 10,000+ signature petition and strong words. As opposed to the Invisible Press: the New York Times, CNN, FOX, NBC, CBS, and AP.

FREE ROXANA SABERI! NOW! LIKE RIGHT NOW!