(Applause. The air is titillating. The mood rambunctious. The atmosphere tense. Over the loud speaker we hear, “3, 2, 1 and …”)
Joy: Hello, Victoria. So, I hear you’re a Tea Partier! (Sarcastic smile. Eyes roll.)
Victoria: Oh, well…
Joy: I suppose you like Sarah Palin! (Sarcastic smile. Eyes roll.)
Victoria: Oh, well, I love her, she is so…
Joy: She is so dumb! (Sarcastic smile. Eyes roll.)
Victoria: No, I don’t think that…
Joy: Just like George Bush. He was an idiot! (Sarcastic smile. Eyes roll.)
Victoria: Oh, no…he protected…
Joy: Ha, ha! So, I suppose you aren’t a big fan of President Obama!
Victoria: Uh, …Tort Reform.
Joy: Because he is so charismatic, and well spoken and sexy…
Victoria: Tort Reform?!
Joy: And his wife’s arms!! So you don’t like his Health Care Plan because you are a racist?!
Victoria: Tort Reform.
Joy: See? You are. You didn’t vote for him, did you?!
Victoria: Um… huge tax increase, insured illegals, rationed and low quality health care, lack of doctors, tax funded abortions, collapse of the middle class, death of freedom, Cap ‘n Trade/Tax – Bad, Marxist agenda…
Joy: You don’t just play a ditz on TV! You are a ditz! We’ll be right back after this commercial.
(Hair and Makeup come to the set and tidy up the middle aged faces.)
Joy: So, we’re back with Victoria who does not have a show, and I do! So…why do you hate Obama?!
Victoria: Well, I don’t hate anyone, I’m just concerned about our country becoming…
Joy: He is such a good speaker!
Victoria: … Communist. Van Jones was not an accident. The safe schools’ czar, Kevin Jennings has a gay agenda for our innocent children. Socialized medicine does not work…
Joy: (To camera) You see? I can’t even have one conservative on my show until they start yelling, and cursing, and bitching! What is it with you people?! You are so full of HATE! Remind me, never to have these stupid A–holes on my show again! (To producer off stage) Get me Janeane Garofalo! She is a genius! Jesus!
Victoria: How can you take Jesus’ name in vain if you are Catholic?
Joy: What? Oi Vey! I’m not even Jewish! I’m gonna puke! Take me to a commercial! Save me!
(Applause and fade to commercial)
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