Demi Lovato Blames the ‘Patriarchy’ for Preventing Her from Coming Out as ‘Non-Binary’ Sooner

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - MAY 27: Demi Lovato is seen arriving at the 2021 iHeartRadio Mus
Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for iHeartMedia

Left-wing actress-singer Demi Lovato says the “patriarchy” prevented her from coming out as “non-binary” sooner.

“After years of living my life for other people, trying to make myself smaller for the patriarchy, they run the industry, they are at the center of everything,” the “Not Sorry” singer said during an appearance on Jane Fonda’s “Fire Drill Fridays.”

Lovato, who supported twice-failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton in 2016, claimed that the patriarchy put her in a box, in part, by telling her she is female — a biological truth.

“When I realized that, I thought, ‘What are the ways that the patriarchy has been holding me back?’ And for me, it was putting me in a box telling me that ‘You are a female, this is what you’re supposed to like, this is what you’re supposed to do, don’t dream bigger and don’t speak louder,'” she said.


“That didn’t vibe for me because I’m too outspoken for that,” she said, explaining that her near-death experience in 2018, due to a drug overdose, served as a wake-up call, making her realize she needed to live her life “for me.”

“No matter what choices men thought that I should make for myself, I just started listening to me, which I ended up finding out was equal parts masculine and feminine,” the “Confident” singer said.

“And so when I strip myself of the norms that society has pushed on me, specifically by the patriarchy, I have become the most complete and authentic version of myself that I’ve ever been in my life, and I could— I’ve never been happier,” she added, earning a gush from Fonda, who said Lovato’s story was “so beautiful.”

After previously identifying as “pansexual,” Lovato came out as “non-binary” this month, assigning the pronouns “they” and “them” to herself.

“I am proud to let you know that I identify as non-binary and will officially be changing my pronouns to they/them moving forward,” Lovato said in social media post. “This has come after a lot of healing and self-reflective work. I’m still learning and coming into myself, and I don’t claim to be an expert or a spokesperson.”

“Sharing this with you now opens another level of vulnerability for me,” she added. “I’m doing this for those out there that haven’t been able to share who they truly are with their loved ones.”

In April, the former Disney Channel star revealed she cut her hair to “free myself of all of the gender and sexuality norms that were placed on me as a, you know, Christian in the South,” referring to it as a moment of liberation.


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