The upcoming race for Best Picture is a “true toss-up” between two movies no one has watched, reports the far-left Hollywood Reporter.
This breathless breaking news was only made possible after this weekend’s Producers Guild Awards (something else no one watched) which produced an upset win for something called CODA.
That’s correct, the Best Picture Oscar race is now neck-and-neck between something called CODA and another thing called The Power of the Dog.
That wasn’t the Power of the Dog that grossed $22.4 million’ That was a 1990 Lou Diamond Phillips supernatural thriller called The First Power that grossed $22.4 million 32 years ago and was considered a box office disappointment.
The Power of the Dog has grossed less than a quarter of CODA, a mere $252,000 worldwide. The Power of the Dog is a Netflix release, but still…. I don’t know what CODA is—which gives me a whole lot in common with the rest of the world.
You might have heard of The Power of the Dog because Sam Elliott didn’t like it, which gives him a whole lot in common with the rest of the world. But his opinion still freaked out the Woke Nazis. Apparently, you’re not supposed to dislike The Power of the Dog because Alphabet People or something.
Okay, if you’re not going to tune into Sunday’s Oscars to see which one of those pop culture juggernauts takes home the Best Picture prize, at the very least you’ll be able to stargaze at all the legends presenting Oscars this year. Get a load of this…
- Stephanie Beatriz
- DJ Khaled
- Jennifer Garner
- Tiffany Haddish
- Tony Hawk
- Bill Murray
- Elliot Page
- Kelly Slate
- Shaun White
Whoo hoo! Just try and keep me aw– Wait, who?
Does diversity now include black, gay, Muslim, transsexuals, Hispanic, and nobodies?
Well, if you can’t root for movies you’ve never heard or stargaze at people you’ve never heard of, at the very least you know the Oscar show will be four hours of the best entertainment the powers in Hollywood can present.
Yes, all that extraordinary talent devoted only to entertaining us, to making us feel good about ourselves, to inspiring us, and serving up an much-needed oasis from the divisive politics that plague everything else.
See you Sunday night at the Oscars, right?