Nolte: #MeToo Puritans Remove Cleavage from Elvira Doll

A general view of atmosphere during Comic-Con International on July 23, 2016 in San Diego,
Matt Cowan/Getty Images/Screenshot
John Nolte

The #MeToo Puritans have removed Elvira Mistress of the Dark’s iconic cleavage and appear to have done so with the okay of Elvira herself. Will the Woke Gestapo ever cease?

Prior to the left’s Puritanical crusade to eliminate sex from everything (and then pour it into elementary schools to groom small children), this is what an Elvira Mistress of the Dark doll used to look like.

And now, here’s the latest incarnation of the Elvira doll. Welcome to your #MeToo Utopia:

Does anyone see something missing?

Maybe a couple of things?

These left-wing freaks who have captured our culture are taking sex and sexy out of everything, even as they flood elementary schools with gay porn and drag queens.

Now, you might think cleavage on a doll is inappropriate for little kids.

Well, this doll is not for little kids. It’s for Elvira fans, who are now adults.

For those who don’t know, Elvira is the creation of Cassandra Peterson. Starting in 1981, Peterson portrayed Elvira Mistress of the Dark in a syndicated, late-night horror series. Thanks to her sense of humor — she basically played a smart bimbo — and her bodacious ta-tas, every Saturday night, Elvira would introduce a public-domain horror movie and then regularly interrupt it with ridicule. It was all about laughs, boobs, irreverence, boobs, bad movies, and boobs — and it was wonderful, a lot of fun. Elvira quickly became a cult figure, starred in her own movie, released a VHS series (which I owned), and has been riding the wave ever since.

But here’s the thing: bewbs.

Boobs and cleavage are as much a part of Elvira’s iconography as Lou Costello and Fatty Arbuckle’s weight, Jimmy Durante and Bob Hope’s nose, Bing Crosby and Clark Gable’s ears, Bela Lugosi’s widow’s peak, Betty Grable’s legs, Veronica Lake’s hair, Peter Dinklage’s height… you get the idea.

Certain characteristics define our cultural icons, and to remove or repair or — heaven forbid — correct those is cultural vandalism.

Elvira used to be cool as hell. That’s why everyone loved her. She was gorgeous, self-deprecating, irreverent, funny, easygoing…

Yeah, well, look at her now…

An uptight scold dressing her dolls like a frigid library matron…

Oh, and of course:

Man, I miss the 80s.

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.

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