UKIP Calls To Change Name Of German Measles


An MEP has called for a symbolic gesture to demonstrate the end of hostilities against the Germans which have been dominant in British culture for over a century.

Jim Carver, UKIP MEP for the West Midlands has today called on the European Parliament to legislate for the immediate renaming of German Measles, saying “It’s about time we stopped blaming the Germans for everything.”

With anti-German rhetoric still common in British society, including frequent repeats of Dad’s Army on national television channels, the corpulent Colonel Von Strohm in ‘Allo ‘Allo and continuing popularity of the episode of Fawlty Towers with the German tourists, the politician has said that it is time to embrace a spirit of European harmony and let bygones be bygones.

German Measles, or Rubella as the virus which causes it is called, leads to a nasty, itchy rash which starts on the face and spreads to the rest of the body. Often the disease sneaks up on sufferers, with them contracting the illness before they realise they have been struck down and are sick. This can make it much easier to spread.

A fever, sore throat and fatigue may also occur, combined with an overwhelming desire to consume fatty meat products and pickled vegetables.

In adults, joint pain is common, making exercise such as marching particularly difficult.

Speaking in Brussels on April 1, Mr Carver said:

“In the spirit of EU cooperation, I am calling on the European Parliament to legislate to rename this illness as European Measles.”