Guardian: ‘I Stopped Going to the Gym Because of Trump. Now I Can’t Open Jars’

CLEVELAND, OH - JULY 21: Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump gives two thumbs up to the crowd during the evening session on the fourth day of the Republican National Convention on July 21, 2016 at the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio. Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump received the number …
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‘I Stopped Going to the Gym Because of Trump. Now I Can’t Open Jars’.

This is an actual headline to an actual story written by an actual journalist in the Guardian newspaper.

It begins:

It was November 2016 and the only person I knew who believed Trump would win the US election was the owner of my gym. This was clearly a ridiculous prediction so, seeing the chance for some easy money, I offered to bet him $100 that Hillary would win.

But the gym owner, clearly not wanting to do his dough, pointed at this horrible thing in the corner with the name “sled” and said: “If Trump wins you have to pull 70kg on it.”

It was double what I could usually pull. And, if I won the bet, the gym owner would pull double his personal best.

I didn’t want Trump to win – he’d grabbed women by the pussy and mocked a reporter’s disability. He’d promised to build a wall and called Mexicans “rapists”. The thought of his presidency was frightening but so was pulling the sled. What if I herniated a disc?

Etc. You can guess the rest. Sometimes, you almost wonder whether the Guardian isn’t secretly a sinister right-wing plot to make left-wing people look utterly ridiculous.

In fact, often you wonder this:

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