Thinking of New York Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez and his historic milestone of passing Willie Mays’ lifetime home run record last week, I was reminded of the jokes kids used to tell one another when they wanted to impress their playground friends with the epic grossness of their imaginations.
All the mayhem unfolding in Baltimore is nothing short of an unspeakable American tragedy. Laid bare are the failures of cradle-to-grave social policies held so dear by politicians in both parties, but embraced and celebrated most lustily by Democrats.
With such steady, just and hopeful leadership from President Obama and his recently departed attorney general, Eric H. Holder Jr., is it any wonder that peace, love, patriotism and tranquility reign across the land with such fervor?
Sen. Marco Rubio might be a Spanish-speaking Cuban from Miami, but he is currently winning the Republican Party’s “American” presidential primary as the only guy speaking common English right now.
Madam Candidate of the People was in her magical mystery conversion van, flying over the cornfields of Iowa this week taking enemy fire. This required evasive maneuvers that launched her coterie of handmaidens, purse-holders and security guards all around the plush leather cabin of the magical, age-reversing van.
Just like every other ditzy beauty queen in the history of beauty pageants, President Obama steps across the world stage clutching the giant bouquet of flowers handed him by the Nobel Committee and pivots back and forth, waving mechanically.
What do Christina Freundlich, Lena Dunham and Andreas Lubitz all have in common?
It is one thing to shrink from the fight. It is one thing to melt in terror over the unimaginable savagery of the tactics of Islamic radicals. It is one thing to become so paralyzed with fear that your knees buckle and you collapse into the bloody folds of Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei’s skirts.
It’s that time of year when college kids in flip-flops hit the sandy beaches of cheesy Mexican resorts and party till the break of dawn, shimmying and jiggling and drinking florescent tequila shots from unknown belly buttons.
The Nuclear Option — Shock, Scandal, and Semi-Stifled Screams: Are You Ready for 10 More Years of Hillary Clinton?
Hillary Clinton’s press performance Tuesday afternoon was, truly, everything Americans could have hoped for from our former First Lady, Modern Joan of Arc, Lady Macbeth, Senate carpetbagger and eternal public Woman Scorned.
Appearing before Congress, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu laid bare terrifying truths about the statements, actions and intentions of the “Islamic Republic” of Iran. Mr. Netanyahu paid great homage to President Obama, Democrats and the U.S. Congress, which he called “the most important legislative body in the world.” Unlike some, Mr. Netanyahu is a true believer in American Exceptionalism.
Routing Mr. Obama and his agenda, Republicans seized control of the U.S. Senate and made historic gains in the U.S. House of Representatives. Instead of respecting the election and listening to voters, Mr. Obama doubled down. He went from merely left wing to utter lawlessness.
It is such a high, blessed relief to finally get to the bottom of the most pressing issue here in this age of $17 trillion U.S. debt, barbaric animals burning humans alive in cages, the systematic rounding up, rape and mutilation of young girls around the world and all these inconvenient blizzards and bone-chilling winds blowing giant holes in our faith in the newly founded Church of Global Warming.
Are you sick and tired of the IRS? Do you owe back taxes? Do you want to be finished with all of the threatening phone calls? The fear, the terrorizing and intimidation? Well we have the answer for you! Just renounce your American citizenship and become and illegal alien!
With a generous baker’s dozen preening and jockeying for early attention, this Republican presidential nomination fight appears to be turning into another none-of-the-above contest. Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker crashed this week’s Drudge Poll by collecting 46 percent of votes, and that was in a pared-down field of 13 possible candidates.
Perched on high bluffs above the Virginia banks of the Potomac River and overlooking the sprawling federal city of Washington, Arlington House for more than 150 years has been a tortured and conflicted spot.
President Obama dedicated his State of the Union address to illegal aliens, college students and communist Cuba. In other words, all those imaginary supporters he claims to be hearing from ever since the actual American electorate denounced him, his party and his policies in last year’s beat-down election.
In all the stirring eulogies and remembrances leading up to the funeral of former New York Governor Mario Cuomo last week, his greatest contribution to American politics went entirely unheralded. All the fawning tributes and tearful, pearl-clutching accolades have failed to include the one single thing about Mario Cuomo that will forever set him far apart from all the rest of the politicians of his ilk.
Here in the winter of our conservative doldrums as the party of jackasses has once again been trounced by the screaming weenies of squishy establishment Republicans, a spark of hope. Amid the ruins lies the Gadsden flag, smoldering, tread upon. In swaggers the great orator and visionary statesman Daniel Webster. Wearing his long frock coat, he walks amid the ashes as if it is nothing. He casts about his severely conservative, unblinking gaze. He eyes the barricades before him. Undaunted.
THE NUCLEAR OPTION — A D.C. Holiday: Shooting Spree, Slashing Rampage in the Land the 2nd Amendment Forgot
It is that special time of year when people all over America sing with cheer, exchange gifts with loved ones, and count their many blessings. But here in the federal city — this little cradle of liberty called Washington, D.C.
I am not — nor ever have been — a member in good standing of the Kim Jong-un Fan Club. In fact, I am pretty sure the teacup child despot inherited his father’s seat in the Axis of Evil. I think it would be really great if everyone in the Axis of Evil were destroyed, though I do not have much faith in American politicians anymore to stick with any such plan long enough to accomplish such a monumental task.
So this is what foreign policy by Beyonce looks like. It’s been two years since the sultry and suave music power couple of Beyonce and Jay-Z were publicly humiliated across the globe after they realized it’s not “cool” to visit
Call it the mysterious case of the Incredible Shrinking GOP. Barely one month ago, the party sailed to victory in one of the biggest rout election waves of the past century. They ran the board and took control of the
Move over, Charlie Brown. Looks like it’s going to be a Michael Brown Christmas this year. The smell of roasted chestnuts and sounds of holiday cheer around Rockefeller Center were drowned out by angry protesters throwing their hands in the
Best case scenario for holding Michael Brown in some kind of moderate regard is that he and his buddy are walking down the middle of the street when officer Darren Wilson encounters them. Officer Wilson has no idea someone matching