Inside the Head of Keith Olbermann

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Wake up……

Realize it’s a very big world that has changed for the better, and that world is waiting for me to help it. They love me so very much.

Sports: I know it all.

Politics, huh, as smart as the coolness of my hair.

I am a lib-er-al God.

I AM a news impresario.

I,… Me,… Mine… and loving it.

It is all about me.

Hellooo mirror.

Hellooooo you handsome devil. Fringe benny of shaving.

Obama is just dying to come on my show, and shake MY hand for getting him elected. The hell with Leno,… we can’t figure out what sides he’s on anyway. Imagine an entertainer not voicing strong opposition to… well….everything. Guess that’s why he’s being banished to prime time…. Ha, how uncool.

MSNBC should give me half their stock. I rule completely. And it comes across on camera doesn’t it. I kind of undress the camera, don’t I.

Where’s my houseboy?

Scrangi!

Scrangi!

Where the hell are my new Oliver Peoples? These are my old Gucci’s. I specifically told you to PEOPLES!”

“Mr. Olbermann; Mr. Mathews called and wants to know if you want to prank call Governor Bobby Jindal again.”

“Ohhh God, no Scrangi. Tell Mathews to grow up. No never mind, tell him to prank call Cheney again. PULL!

No not you Scrangi, it’s a Cheney joke.”

O’Reilly is the so the lowest rated show on television………..O…..O’…O’Re….O’REIL…..O’REILL…… ohh God…….not now..

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Ughhhhhhhhh….. okay.

I am gonna go to breakfast. Tavern on the Green, window seat. They wave, I ignore.

Put on my suit. Damn there goes a button.

I kinda look like a cooler version of Elvis Costello with these specs don’t I?

Way cooler.

Now who is gonna be the Worst Person tonight, Ha, I have so much power and people really pay attention to that segment don’t they?

Heh-Heh-Heh. Power indeed. Maybe the worst person should be O’R…

No… not tonight.