“Did you hear Kermit found a new girlfriend? Good, that last one was a real pig,” said not a single feminist this week.
Famed Muppet character Kermit the frog, who reportedly ended his fictional four-decade relationship with Miss Piggy in August, was rumored to have found new love this week in Denise, a much younger, domesticated hooved creature.
Despite the trivial nature of the rumors, feminists all over the Internet, some of them posing as journalists, were up in arms this week, and shared their outrage over the matter on social media.
(If we’re going there, and it looks like we are, Kermit has now confirmed that he is not dating Denise, but the two are friends.)
“Well, apparently Kermit can’t get enough of women like his ex – as long as they’re younger and thinner than her and less successful than him (but still work at ABC, so he can rub her in Miss Piggy’s face),” writes The Guardian’s Megan Carpentier.
Never mind that the controversy surrounds two felt pigs and a frog, Miss Piggy was more often than not a terrible partner, who regularly engaged in domestic battery.
Case in point:
Still, Miss Piggy’s new status as a feminist icon means that in 2015, no matter how banal the controversy, nothing is safe from the crosshairs of liberal outrage, not even the sex life of a talking frog:
— ❤Queeny❤ (@QueenyMartha) September 2, 2015
Kermit couldn't even last a month after Miss Piggy declared herself a feminist. pic.twitter.com/g7KKDiLfGM
— Michelle Catlin (@CaptainWeeab00) September 1, 2015
Who Kermit new girl? He got tired of ms. Piggy being a feminist
— Judy Medusa (@kyaxcheeks) September 1, 2015
@TheSolkotovic Yep, Kermit is a sexist now.
— Neffie Phoenix (@pocahontasphnx) September 3, 2015
— harmony (@fonticulus) August 5, 2015
This Kermit & Ms. Piggy situation goes to show you what happens when you give the best years of your life to a man. He always fuck you over.
— Rios. (@lareinasie) September 1, 2015